This is always such a controversial subject.
Being connected to source typically refers to feeling a deep sense of alignment, peace, and unity with the universal energy or higher power that many people believe governs the universe. This connection can bring a sense of clarity, purpose, and inner peace, and can help individuals feel more grounded, inspired, and supported in their daily lives. It often involves practices such as meditation, prayer, mindfulness, and self-reflection to cultivate this connection and maintain a sense of spiritual well-being.
What I would like to bring attention to, is what this means in actual practice. It is easy to put a lot of big words around this concept and swamp people in spiritual jargon because the concept really is so all encompassing.
It is my opinion, that being connected to source means being entirely and completely honest with yourself as well as the people around you, and living in that truth emphatically and fully, without any kind of remorse. So that you are capable of achieving flow.
Because if you are being honest with yourself, what is there to be remorseful about? We are all different and we want different things., and our minds are geared towards achieving different things. Not everyone was made to be a parent. Though plenty believe this is what they are supposed to do. Get married, and have there two point five children and have a successful business. This is what they believe they have to do, so they do it. But this also leaves families feeling unwanted, unloved, and uncherished. Causing deep emotional trauma that is very difficult to come back from .
Some who argue that these people just need to take responsibility for their actions and figure it out. And I could not agree more. The problem is, this does not align with there energy, and therefore does not align with source, and it subsequently incredibly difficult to achieve. IT IS ACHIEVABLE. I am not saying it is not. Make that who you are. Manifest it into your life., Be a fucking badass.
The reality is, that is really fucking hard.
There are not a lot of people who can do what I do. I recognize that, because it is not in alignment with who they are. They cannot be something they are not. It is not in alignment with them, to hold multiple jobs, love and care for their family with fervor and reverence and hold bonds that they form near and dear to their heart. But these are things that right now, are who I am to my core. I love to work. I love to take care of my family. It gives me a deep sense of love and peace to do so. I love forming strong bonds, and falling in love and exploring that love within in its fullest extent. I hold all of these things near and dear to me, and am able to achieve them with a level of ease once I find my rhythm.
Why?
Because when I am in this state, I am connected to source. I am living to the fullest extent of my being without care. I am fully myself. I am being honest with myself and the people around me about what I am capable of and what I am not capable of.
Being fully honest with yourself means being willing to confront and acknowledge your true thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions without denial, avoidance, or self-deception. It involves taking a hard look at your own behaviors, patterns, motivations, and desires, and being open and truthful about your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and vulnerabilities.
Being fully honest with yourself also means being willing to accept and take responsibility for your mistakes, shortcomings, and areas for growth, and actively working towards self-improvement and personal development. It requires a high level of self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-acceptance, as well as a commitment to living authentically and in alignment with your values and principles.
So, in short, it means to stop doing things simply because that is the way that it is supposed to be. It means living free and full and creating boundaries around the things that are not true to you. If you were not meant to be in a long term relationship, just fucking don’t! It is going to hurt you and it is going to hurt them.
You were not meant to have kids? Fucking don’t! We do not need anymore broken people out here, and that is exactly what you will do. Not meant to run your own business? Then don’t! You will work every single day of your life and hate every single moment of It. It will never be satiating. It will never be fulfilling, you will never genuinely enjoy your life.
Why?
Because it is impossible to connect to source, if you are operating in an energy that was not made for you.
This also means…. that everyone is so different. It is important to understand that everyone is different and needs different things because it promotes empathy, understanding, and respect for others. Recognizing and accepting individual differences helps us to appreciate the unique perspectives, experiences, and needs of those around us. This understanding can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships, effective communication, and a more inclusive and harmonious society. By acknowledging and valuing diversity in all its forms, we can create a more compassionate and equitable world for everyone.
WE NEED PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM US. If you only surround yourself with people who think like you, and behave you like you, and connect to source in the same way you do, you will forever be stuck, and will never have the ability to grow in certain ways. It is impossible to grow without resistance. And learning to exist in a world with people who are different, and being able to respect those difference while maintaining your own truth is a hard and yet vital skill that everyone should be able to attain.
That’s my two cents anyway.
But what do I know? I am just a women trying to make it.
Masculine archetypes are symbolic representations of various aspects of the masculine psyche and collective unconscious. These archetypes provide a framework for understanding and exploring different facets of masculinity, spirituality, and personal growth.
When remembering the frame work we have already laid out concerning the core of the masculine energy, these archetypes make a lot more sense and makes one realize that they are all holding the same thing, just in very different ways. The masculine energy is the structure. They bring structure and resounding feeling of being at harmony when someone is walking in it fully. Let’s delve into a few descriptions of some prominent masculine archetypes:
If you haven’t read my first blog on this, I highly recommend it. https://elizabetheternal.com/the-masculine-energy/
And if you so feel the desire, as the next few posts will be about the feminine archetypes and the way these two energies depend on each other, you may want to check out my post on the feminine energy https://elizabetheternal.com/the-feminine-energy/
The king
The King archetype represents leadership, authority, and the ability to provide guidance and structure. He symbolizes the mature and responsible aspect of masculinity. The King archetype encourages us to take ownership of our lives, honor our responsibilities, and lead with integrity. He reminds us to cultivate a sense of purpose and create a positive impact in our communities and relationships.
This is often what we associate with true masculinity, in the way we view the mother or the maiden as the true feminine. In real human experience this is the guy that gets up at the same time every day and crushes every bit of there day. This is the guy that holds to many responsibility for the average person and he holds them as though they are nothing. This is the guy who works hard and plays much harder when the time is right to do so. However, only when the time is right, otherwise, they are entirely present and in control. a natural leader without the desire to be recognized as such. In fact I would wager a bet he does not even see it that way.
The Warrior
The Warrior archetype embodies strength, courage, and a fierce determination to protect and defend. He symbolizes the ability to face challenges, overcome adversity, and fight for what is right. The Warrior archetype encourages us to tap into our inner strength, stand up for our values, and protect those who are vulnerable. He reminds us to embrace discipline, resilience, and a strong sense of justice.
This archetype is easy to get confused with the King, but they are indeed very different. Though many hold these two archetypes interchangeably. Often time we refer to these men as possessive and over protective. It can easily become domineering and controlling if they don’t have a firm respect for the feminine energy. They are seen as being the protective entry of any group, usually on guard and keeping their wits about them is very important. Someone operating in this energy does not play as hard as the king. Nothing is worth being unable to control a situation if it is needed. This is another one of the archetypes that are the most closely associated in modern thought as masculine.
The Lover
The Lover archetype represents passion, sensuality, and emotional depth. He symbolizes the ability to connect deeply with others and experience profound love and intimacy. The Lover archetype encourages us to cultivate emotional intelligence, nurture intimate relationships, and embrace the beauty of life. He reminds us to seek pleasure, express love openly, and connect with our hearts.
What is amazing to me, is that when I see this archetype in real life, it is often associated with a more feminine man. Someone who has lost touch with what makes him a man. This could not be further from the truth. The idea of what is ‘manly’ is leftover bullshit from a time period in which our way of life was consistently compromised and the kings and warriors were well within their element. There is something to be said for quiet strength and fortitude. This is the guy who loves his girl so recklessly and fully that nothing else in his world seems to matter. He is the pillar of an involved father, who invests in the emotional well being of his children. Unsurprisingly so, this archetype is highly sought after by the feminine. It’s the source on many books, and movies, and other content that makes women swoon. And yet, looked down upon by other men. What a hard energy to operate in. But when done well, with amazing unbridled confidence, is really something amazing to behold.
The Sage
The Sage archetype embodies wisdom, knowledge, and the pursuit of truth. He symbolizes the intellectual and introspective aspect of masculinity. The Sage archetype encourages us to seek knowledge, expand our understanding of the world, and cultivate inner wisdom. He reminds us to embrace lifelong learning, engage in self-reflection, and share our wisdom with others.
What I find to be unbelievably amazing about this archetype, is that I have personally not seen his particular energy stand alone. It makes me wonder if the archetype is associated heavily with the hermit. Which for those of you who don’t know, is a card in the tarot deck; known for being a lonely wonderer. We see these archetypes in books all the time, and even in movies, and yet the real life Sage seems to be an illusive creature. I have seen in so clearly in people who have another archetype that they operate in far more. Those who have a ‘prophetic’ nature.
Maybe scholars and professors that gave themselves over to their craft entirely. I just have not personally come across someone who primarily operates in this. Though I would love to! The curious nature of me craves a good long conversation with them.
The Magician
The Magician archetype represents transformation, creativity, and the ability to manifest our desires. He symbolizes the power of the mind and the capacity to tap into unseen forces. The Magician archetype encourages us to harness our creative potential, cultivate our intuition, and shape our reality. He reminds us to embrace our ability to create positive change and manifest our dreams.
The Charismatic prophet. Must I say more? No, but I certainly will. Unchecked, this archetype seems to get lost in the spiritual realm easily. Looses touch with reality and the day to day happenings of a ‘normal’ person. Often times needing the feminine energy more than the other archetypes. It provides a sense of grounding and assurance. Yet they really are something to behold. They are the guy that always seems to know what you’re thinking before you do. The guy you can sit for hours with a talk about the most random of things, and he always seems to have some sort of deep insight on it, even if its a concept he has never fully thought about before. Its as if the creative nature of this man paints a picture in his head about every day mundane things, and often that comes out in some sort of them in the form of some sort of creative career.
So…
These descriptions provide a glimpse into the multifaceted nature of masculine archetypes. Each archetype encompasses a range of qualities and characteristics, and exploring them can deepen our understanding of ourselves, our relationships, and our spiritual growth. By embracing and integrating these archetypal energies, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and spiritual expansion.
You can operate heavily in one as your primary archetype, but also hold one or two others. Some embody a part of all of them. Because at the end of the day, the energy is exactly the same, the expression of that energy has just changed. Not the true underlying energy of the man or masculine energy carrying individual.
If you wanna dive a little deeper, there are some other place that this information is given with a bit more depth that are worth check out
I have been doing a lot of research on the feminine energy in hopes of being able to give you a firm understanding of what the energy actually is and make sure I am getting a well rounded perspective that helps bring clarity. That is a concept that is easy to understand, but not necessarily the easiest to teach or bring clarity to.
What I have learned is that…. very few are actually getting it.
You know how many articles I read, and blogs I read that said the feminine is not meant to work? And that if a feminine wants to get a job and have a career, she will be tapping into her masculine to do it. Or that the sole purpose of the feminine energy is to serve the masculine? Oh my fucking good gracious. How far down the rabbit hole are we going to go before we realize that the way we have been thinking about things is all wrong? Because it is CLEARLY not working. I mean it’s not working at all for anyone.
People like to say that masculine is just fine, but because we don’t respect both with equal measure, and let our true energy come out or even have a firm understanding of what it is, the masculine can not really behave in the fullness of its self either. We are sick.
NO!!! When the feminine wants to work, she taps into the Huntress archetype in the feminine energy. Or maybe the queen archetype depending on the person and the type of career they are wanting to pursue. When they are put into a position of power they tap into the Sage archetype pretty heavily.
However, all of those are FEMININE energies. Just because the base line of the feminine is to set the temperature does not mean all she is capable of is taking care of her family and home and making sure her adult man child is taken care of. This is really fucking me off if I am honest. Because It absolutely diminishes the power of the Feminine, and it is not playing well with the masculine… at all. No wonder the masculine energy has become so toxic.
Look, if you are a mother fem archetype, and you want to stay home and take care of your kids and your home and your man and that is the life you WANT to live – I am so mother fucking here for it. You have my and so many others, unbridled and irrevocable support. Not that you need it. But it’s always nice right? Women having other women’s back? It’s a thing that feels so good. I see you. We need mothers in this context within our society. It is vital, and important, and the job that you are doing is irreplaceable.
But there is more this energy can do. Contributions it can make. And power it can hold. It is really fascinating and infuriating that the only feminine energy we seem to give any value to is the mother and maiden. So… let me enlighten you just a little.
First lets Recap
The feminine Energy is NOT a set of actions, it is the undercurrent of the action being taken. The base line thing that is irreplaceable in the feminine energy no matter what part of it that we are tapping into, is the desire to set the temperature. Whether that be in a home, or in the work place, or with your friends. The feminine is emotional, and in-tune with the needs of herself and the people around her. She is sure and confident and powerful in her own right without the need of any other energy to complete it.
The masculine and the feminine are always drawn together . They work and function best when they are in harmony.
The feminine energy does not just belong to one gender. IT IS AN ENERGY! And it is not subject to social norms. So whether you are trans, or fem presenting male or anything in-between, there is no reason you can’t hold the energy just as powerfully and effectively. We don’t judge. We let people be who they want to be. End of story.
If you want a little more information on this, you can find it here – https://elizabetheternal.com/the-feminine-energy/
If you would like more info on the Masculine, you can find it here – https://elizabetheternal.com/the-masculine-energy/
The archetypes of the Feminine Energy.
There is a wonderful blog full of pretty much everything you could ever want to know about the feminine archetypes. You can find that here – https://womenlovepower.com/an-explanation-of-the-7-basic-feminine-archetypes/
Seriously go explore her stuff. She has so much information, a quiz and classes and all kinds of things that really help put so much into perspective.
But let me give you an over view here
The lover – The lover stands in sacred sexuality. It is creative and passionate and taps into the innate ability to capture attention.
The Huntress – This is the path to independence or the warrior spirit. Often associated with the working or career centered women.
The maiden – Intuitive and creative. And hold the power to evolve.
The Sage – This is the energy of accomplishment, wisdom, and has the ability to compartmentalize deep emotions in order to be pragmatic.
The Queen – Confidence, leadership, and knows how to align with the proper alliances in order to achieve.
The mother – Nurturing and sweet energy. Bring about the ability to protect and create deep heart centered connection.
The mystic – Freedom. Inner peace. And the alluring seduction of mystery.
Do you see how versatile this energy really is and the many different ways it can show up in the world and in society? It is not one set of rules or one thing that the feminine energy can do. It is not limited or have boundaries. It is endless and beautiful and fun and so much more. The more I read about this energy in other context the more sad and disheartened I really became because all of it is so limiting.
There is power here, There is fullness here. There is beauty and harmony that stretches far beyond the realm of that which is commonly understood.
You can be a leader and a feminine energy. You can be a career women, and a feminine energy. You can be literally anything and still hold the energy.
It dose not hold just one way of life but a multitude and should be treated with that respect and understanding.
Okay now.
I am going to be putting out post about how to step into this. And all the other things I have already talked about putting out. But I wanted to make this point really clear before we went any further.
So be looking out for a podcast, and other posts.
I have been looking forward to the post with equal measures of excitement and dread. The feminine energy has been so drastically misrepresented in our culture that it’s not even funny anymore. Never really was. And unpacking the lies that have been so heavily believed while also maintaining the integrity of the energy is sure to be an interesting thing. But I believe myself to have a firm enough grasp on the concept that I am up for the challenge.
Hopefully.
Nah I am.
*Breath Elizabeth, it’s just a post*
Plus this is just the introduction to the concept, not the concept in its entirety so…. let’s go.
The feminine is really such a brilliant and powerful thing, with monuments of untapped potential and peace. I think that in general, as women we are taught (Not specifically, but through the influence of culture) what femininity is, but not how to actually hold it. On top of that, the version of feminine energy we are taught about, lives in one context, rather than being presented as a state of being.
Same disclaimer as the Masculine energy post, this is going to be a long one. I can feel it in my jelly’s. So bare with me okay. You can find the post on the masculine energy here The masculine energy – Elizabeth Eternal
The extra big problem lately is that we hella over corrected when trying to fix the imbalance. I can NOT do things the way a man can. I can do the job absolutely. I can be a boss babe, 100%. I can do all the things, and I do. But if I want to hold onto the Feminine that is really at the core of who I am as a person, I cannot do the job the way a man does it. It takes away from the power and beauty of myself as a feminine, and it degrades the masculine and its power to try.
The two are meant to work harmoniously together. Not side by side. Which! does not mean one is better than the other or has to be the dominate. No, they just bring two sides together.
So, what am I talking about.
The feminine energy has been so heavily misrepresented in our culture, it’s hard to even know where to start. Men and the masculine? They got this shit. It’s more like… a shift in perspective. But with femininity, its different.
Have you seen the new Barbie movie? When one of the main characters starts a monoluge of all the things that are expected of women? That shit is real. And there is so much expectation that no one really knows what to do with it, or how to tap into what is real and honest about themselves.
There was a huge portion of my life that I genuinely wished I was not born a woman. As do a lot of women who do not fit into the idea of the perfect wife and mother. I didn’t want to have to be meek and coy and pious. I wished I could be strong, and tenacious, and confident without the world telling me I was wrong for doing so. I so desperately wanted to be disconnected from this energy that was and is an intrinsic part of my being. Because who wants to be barefoot and pregnant and living for the benefit of everyone else around them? Not me.
I mean if that’s what you want, no judgment. I see you and its fucking beautiful. But the living for everyone else? I’m sorry but I am really not sorry… absomotherfuckinglutly not. Not for anyone. Ever. Because the Feminine was not meant to give, they were meant to receive, nurture, and give back. So, like yeah, I would love to be barefoot and pregnant, but…. for a season. Not for the whole fucking thing.
(Complete side note, but even our fucking anatomy screams please give it to me, I want to receive you. We literally have a hole that gets wet and wants to take something in. Okay, come on.)
So once again, just as I stated with the masculine energy, I want to make it clear from the beginning, that there is no one way to be a woman or to hold this energy. It is not qualifiable with a set of actions or words to encompass the fullness of it. It is the energy behind actions. Not the actions themselves.
It does not belong soley to women, or a certain kind of women.
If a man holds feminine energy, fucking let him! Just like if a woman holds masculine energy, fucking let her. I know men who hold a lot more of this delicious energy then a lot of women I know. And there is nothing shameful or wrong about that. That is just who they are. We don’t shame or judge here.
Please remember EVERYTHING you judge you are secretly jealous of. So maybe work on yourself. Okay?
Cool?
Cool.
What I want to talk about is the energy behind actions. The energy that fuels the way we look at the world, and the way that translates to actions. So, I am going to talk about child rearing, and partnerships and all that yummy kind of thing, but keep in mind, those things are NOT necessary to holding the feminine.
And in a later post I will talk about the difference between the dark fam and the soft fem. But… we already have so much going on in this post that it would make it too much. So, keep an eye out.
This one is long.
So, what is the Feminine Energy?
If the masculine is the structure, the Feminine is the temperature. Everything about the feminine energy was made to receive and nurture. Not to give. Almost never to give actually. Which was a really hard thing for me to make peace with if I am honest. I wrestled with it for a hot second. I know a lot of fems out there are going to be taken off guard. But I am guessing most masculine’s are going to be deeply settled by that ideal when explained further. Because they are the structure. They feel the most content and themselves when they get to take care of their fem and their family. It makes them feel powerful. And it should! That is a huge weight to bare, and they do it so naturally and wonderfully, that its very… well its a turn on. Period
The feminine is going to look at her family, as an extension of herself. Because the energy behind it is to receive and nurture. So, the partner, and the kids, and the house, the career, they are all a part of her. They are an extension of what is important to her and will be seen as a personal attribute. Remember when we talked about the singular mindset the masculine energy has? The feminine does not do that inherently. We can! Just like any other skill, it is attainable. But it is not innate, and it is not the way the feminine works best or is the most satiating.
So, when the feminine energy approaches a need, or a problem, it is looking for the core of it. She is looking to repair the temperature or the vibe, because it is what her energy naturally does. You know when dad is like “Why is this kid having such an attitude?” And he’s frustrated by it. But then mom looks at it and says “Oh they are feeling left out” and then she swoops and saves the day?
Yeah.
There is a reason for that.
The innate desire to create temperature within her home requires her to be able to see to the heart of an issue and redirect the energy. It’s an extension of her so if any of it is off balance, she is off balance. It’s really such a powerful thing. They set the tone, and the atmosphere. The masculine can try, but it will be exhausting for them. It will take the life right out of them if they do it for too long, because it is not what their energy was created to do. The feminine energy is the temperature. They do not have to try, they just are.
The reason so many women end up being the one that stays home and takes care of her family, is because her energy, when met with a healthy masculine, as I stated, sees this family as an extension of herself. And therefore, the innate desire to nurture, and create the right temperature can be damn near overwhelming. Infact there are a lot of women with powerful and amazing careers, that will leave it behind to focus on nurturing her family. Very few masculine’s would do that unless it was necessary, and only if they truly believed that it was the best way to create structure in their family. The feminine can and will keep the career and maintain the temperature of a family, but it is not for the faint of heart.
Read my post on the masculine if you want to understand more. I am not saying it again. lol
The energy is fucking powerful.
Let me put this in another context. I know, that when I walk into a room, I can have every single eye on me. I can have everyone’s attention, and they will be very aware of my presence. Is it because I am the most beautiful girl in the world? No. Beautiful is not even a word I would use for myself. Not in a self-deprecating I am so ugly kind of way, it’s just not the adjective I would use. No, it is because I know, that what I bring to the table, is the vibe. The temperature. The nurture. I hold the power to sway everyone’s mood and change the entire dynamic. And because I know this to my core, everyone else’s energy, is going to be looking for mine. They won’t even know that is what is happening, it’s not a conscious thing. it’s an energetic thing.
And because I know the energy I hold; I also am very confident that I will intuitively know how to interact with everyone in that room. Not because it’s a skill I have learned, but because that is what the feminine energy does. It sees to the heart of things, and nurtures it. I am not going to be wheeling and dealing in that room naturally. Haha no. That was a fun little skill I had to work hard for. But getting people to talk about their lives and what is important to them, and their family. yeah, I got that shit on lock.
As does pretty much every feminine energy ever.
I mean, they are not always going to want to walk into room and have every eye on them. That is the action not the energy. The energy is the temperature. And it will show up in every situation they interact with. The fem takes what is given to her, nurtures it and gives it back.
This is also why the feminine get caught up in abusive situations a lot.
They see the heart of it, not the action. They want to take what is given to them, and nurture it back to health. Which is not possible always. Especially with an unhealthy masculine. They are the structure. And if the structure is unhealthy, so is the rest. Just like if the temperature is unhealthy, so is the rest.
They are meant to work harmoniously with each other. Not as separate entities.
But I digress.
The feminine is far more powerful than we were ever taught to believe. Because the feminine energy can clock everything in a room in a matter of moments. The kids, the other adults, what needs to be done, what’s already been done etc. Not only can they clock it, but they can also change it if it needs to be. Just simply by bringing a certain presence to the room. There is never just one thing on the feminine mind. Not ever.
Our brains have this innate ability to hold a lot of information and process through a lot of different things all at once. Because of this, we are amazing multi taskers. I remember seeing a man doing a podcast or something… to be honest with you I don’t remember the context, but I do remember him saying that it was impossible to multitask truly.
Bitch bet, have you met a feminine who is fully in touch with her energy? I am going to assume not. *clears throat* Just because it is not true for a man does not mean it’s not true for everyone. The assumption is a wild one for me, because I don’t think they even see it that way. I do not believe for even a second that the masculine energy or men are inherently sexist. It just comes out that way occasionally.
This is the shit we were made for. To bring the temperature to our home, and to our interactions, to know that everyone on an individual level is cared for. (If we actually care for them anyway). Because of this we tend to know when something is off, and when there is something that needs to get done.
A feminine who has not embraced her energy is going to be nagging, and babying, and coddeling. Because the energy is there, we understand the temperature and that it needs to change, but we dont trust the masculine energy to do there job. And dont know how to bring about that understanding. So we do what those before us did. Its really very simple.
But a woman who has her man come home from work in a shitty mood, is going to immediately pick up on it, and want to fix it. This is her home; this is where her temperature matters the most. The toxic fem will absolutely be angry that he brought it home or start babying him hoping the mood will change. The healthy fem, will be his peace. The energy in her will recognize the masculine energy in him to be a vital piece of their life and the way it functions, and will start seeking out ways of changing it. If the structure is fucked… we are all fucked.
DONT FUCKING BABY HIM.
Should I say it again?
No, someone who is working well in their energy and has a firm grasp on the healthy feminine is going to spring into action, but they will do this, by refusing to let their vibe change. He is her man, not her child. He needs fucked, or he needs some cool down time alone, or maybe to vent, and get whatever is bothering him off his chest without someone trying to fix it. Maybe he needs an adventure, and the fem can for sure make that happen. Or a night at the bar with his friends. It will look different for every fem, and every masc will need something different. But she will find it! She will find a way to bring peace to her home again, because it is what is innate and natural to them. They want that.
Outside of a family dynamic.
Here is where things get very tricky. And I am about to piss a lot of people off. So let me preface this by saying…. remember how I said the feminine is powerful? They are. They are powerful, and energetically hardwired to be the center of attention. They are strong, and do not need a man to save them. But what is the temperature, without the structure?
The feminine energy will always be looking for the structure of the masculine energy. Our power is rouge, and we are not hardwired to create the structure ourselves. It is a learned skill built from necessity and can therefore do it. Any strong independent women has developed the skill. But a skill is not energy. It’s just reality. Not because she is seeking it out or can’t stand on her own two feet. Thats not it. It is that the energies are constantly seeking out the other.
The masculine, as the structure to that energy, will always find it to be a little easier to stand without the temperature. But fuck if they don’t have anywhere near as good of a time without it.
However, with that being said, the feminine is always looking for temperature. And they will create it in any way they can.
If someone is not having a good time at the party, the feminine will not dismiss it. They will be the first to talk to them and figure out why. They will naturally want to nurture the good in them and pull it to the surface. The feminine might be the one to pay off the DJ and buy a round of shots, and all that jazz, but most likely, she is going to hype up the one who is bringing the vibe down and bring out the confidence in that person.
We will do it with our friends.
At work.
With out parents.
At the gym.
This looks a little different for everyone. And someone who is really in touch with their feminine will not be afraid to bounce if the vibe is off, and we know we can’t fix it. But the really cool thing about the feminine is we can be a lot of different things for different situations.
Seductive and sexy to draw someone in and bring out the sexual energy.
Confident and sure to help others latch on to the vibe or to get something done.
Soft and gentle when someone is hurting.
Abrasive and intense when challenged.
But at the heart of all those things, what we bring to the table is the temperature.
So Anyway
My hope is that this gives you a glimpse or an idea of what the true Feminine energy, and if you want to go more in depth, be looking out for the podcast on this subject. It will probably get very yummy. This is just the fucking surface. Basic level shit.
I may be on this topic for awhile to be honest because there are so many things I want to get into concerning this.
Like how to fix a relationship by bring the masculine and the feminine back into harmony.
Sex between the masculine and the feminine.
Healing the Masculine.
Healing the Feminine.
Of course, every time I think I have enough blog posts and enough Podcast planned to get my point across, I think of a few more so… Yup
But hey, what do I know? I am just a woman trying to make it
Awe! The masculine. As a deep Fem, there is very little I find more alluring than the deep masculine. Because of the way these two energies are drawn to complete one another, I find myself turned on and ready to go so fast when I find someone who has truly tuned into their natural energy and embrace it fully.
It is a problem.
And now that I recognize the problem, I can fix it right?
HAHAHAHAHA no.
Not because I cant.
I just don’t really want to.
And maybe that makes me crazy, but it is what it is.
Also, these posts are going to be long. If you want to wait for the podcast, I really fucking get it. But here we go.
What am I talking about though?
The masculine energy has been portrayed within our current society in a very interesting way. It’s more a list of characteristics then it is the true energy behind it. I understood the masculine based on those principles for a long time now. And I am sure most people have that idea pretty well on lock.
The thing is you cannot qualify an energy to action. those things do not work together the way you think they do. They just don’t. Any energy does not belong to an action, a gender, or an idea. Energy is what is at the center of those things. And the way that energy is portrayed doesn’t really matter as much as the energy itself.
Let me explain in a different way.
I am someone who happens to not really hold back the truth. I don’t know why, but before I can even think better of it, I am telling you EXACTLY what I think. My filters are minimal at best on my best day. So if you’re a piece of shit. Chances are, I am just going to say that. But, if I put my hand on my hip, and cock an eyebrow, and you can just feel the judgment rolling off of me, me telling you “Hey, this is a really shitty thing you are doing right now” – is going to feel a lot different than if I make eye contact, and I approach you softly, and everything about my aura is telling you that I don’t mean any harm and then I tell you “Hey, this is a really shitty thing you’re doing” It’s going to be received so differently.
The action is what it is. It is not more or less true, but the energy behind it changes the way the interaction goes.
this is the same with the masculine energy. It has nothing to do with the action and EVERYTHING to do with the energy behind the action.
While the masculine is most often found in men. it can and is found in every gender. And honestly, I know a lot of men that hold very little if any true masculine energy. I also know a lot of women who operate in there masculine very heavily. It is what it is.
So, as I explain further the different sides to the masculine energy, I will use a lot of traditional ideals to get the point across, but please remember, that I am just putting it into words that can be understood.
So, what is the Masculine energy?
For the purposes of this, I am going to be talking about a traditional couple, and their family, because it is the easiest way to explain. The masculine energy acts as the structure of a home, whereas the feminine, is the temperature.
This affects everything about the way they will approach their family. The feminine will look at the needs of her family, as a personal attribute. Whereas the masculine will look at his family as a personal success or failure. Both are looking at the same needs, and seeing the same priorities but their approach to it is different.
The reason that it is most often men are the ‘bread winner’ (Hate that term so much but… it is what it is) is because when they look at their family, they see that in order to flourish, they need substance. They see the structure as a whole and recognize what is needed to keep his family safe and cared for. There was a time in history in which this meant they would go out and hunt as much as they could to make sure their family had food, but in today’s society, that need is met with a monetary value. So that is where their focus is going to be.
One of my favorite things about the masculine, is what I call singular mindset. It’s called a million different things, but that is my little phrase for it. The masculine energy is the structure, right? Which causes them to have this innate ability to hyper focus. It’s almost as if a part of their brain shuts off so that they can zoom in on one particular thing.
They have work mode. And when they are at work, the only thing that really exists in that moment is work. Yes, there doing it for the family and blah blah blah. But really, in that space, there priority is going to be work. Everything else will be secondary. I know a lot of women that fucking hate this about there masc. But heres the deal, we should LOVE this about them. Because there minds do not work the way the feminine brain works. His focus being somewhere else does not inherently mean that you are not the biggest priority. It just means this is what he is doing right now. And in order for him to take care of his family the way he needs to, he can’t have split focus. Split focus is something the feminine can do very easily. Which also makes focusing on a job harder (But I will get into that in a different post altogether). So let him be in that masculine energy. Recognize it for what it is, and I can almost guarantee that it will start to light a little fire in your belly. Just throwing it out there.
It’s my favorite because in a true masculine, that ideal is true for everything in their life. Not just work. When the masc is with his girl, she is the only fucking thing in the world. That is where all his attention is. And let me tell you there is nothing more delicious then being the center of someone’s world. Even for a few moments. Just saying. When they are with their kids, that is the only thing in the world. When they are doing a project, that is all there is. And if they find themselves not being able to focus on it, it probably means their energy needs to be somewhere else and they know it.
This is also why alone time tends to be really important to the masculine, and time with their friends, and time just hanging out. Because they give so much of themselves to each thing they are doing, what is innate and important to them gets put on the back burner. Their energy is the structure in which a family lives. And they feel that weight keenly in a very natural and innate way. It’s not a bad thing! However, it does require them to let loose often and have things outside their family and responsibility. Thats just reality. As a feminine in that dynamic, you should want that for them, just as the masc should want it for the fem.
This ‘singular mode’ is also why the masc tends to protect the fem very readily. Because the feminine energy, will immediately go to the ‘fuck’ place in an emergency situation. They are going to be getting their kids away from the threat, and making sure other people are out of the way etc. etc. but because the masculine energy is the structure, there first thought tends to be ‘how do I eliminate this threat’.
There Energy really is astounding.
The masculine energy does not ‘reside over’ the feminine. Both energies are of equal importance. But the masculine, being the structure, does mean that he tends to ‘oversee’ the household very naturally. Its not something they have to think about, or work through, or even a skill they have to learn.
Yes, they will have to learn the skills to actually implement those ideals, but the desire to oversee, is not something they will need to work too hard on. This will make a lot more sense when I post the blog about the feminine energy, and the podcast will be about the way these two energys work together, and I go a lot more in depth of these concepts, because fuck is it a lot of information to try and get through. So eventually it will all snap into place.
I hope.
Like… if I do my job well anyway.
Back on topic.
Lets put this in a way that will make a little more sense.
If we are talking about a traditional household, where a man is working, and a woman is staying home and taking care of her family. If a true masculine comes home from work, and his children are running amuck, and the house isn’t clean, there first thought is going to be ‘is my fem okay’.
Toxic masculinity will start laying into her, and getting frustrated. But a true masculine that is working in harmony with his feminine, will immediately go to ‘where is the problem, and how do I help fix it’. Very few actually give a shit if there are toys laying around and some dishes in the sink. But this home is the place his fem should be flourishing, so if it’s not done, there is a missing link somewhere in the structure and their innate desire is going to be to care for the fem.
This is going to look different for everyone. And the way they approach the situation is going to be different, because again, this is not an action, this is an energy they hold. So, they may go find their girl, and ask what she needs, love on her, fuck her, you know, the basics. They may immediately just hang out with the kids to give her a break, or start cleaning, or they may order a pizza, get the kids and himself cleaning, and declare that night a sit on the couch and watch movies kind of night. Who knows. But the energy he will be bring is to make sure the structure of his family is being cared for. Period.
Am I making sense?
fuck I hope so
Outside of a family dynamic.
This idea of the masculine being the structure means that he still is that, outside of his home. The way he interacts with his fem friends, is going to be different then the way he interacts with his buddies. There is a level of care and protection that is innate to the masculine energy that cannot be left behind just because he is not with his family,
He will do this with his mother
He will do this at work.
He will do this in every situation,
Because he holds that energy,
His natural desire is to create structure.
The thing is, we like to think of that as this ridged, intense thing. But it’s really not. The energy there, could be… going out to a bar with his friends, realizing the vibe isn’t quite right, so he pays the DJ to play certain songs, buys everyone around a shots, and gets everyone’s vibe to a more desirable level. Or if that is not financially possible, gets everyone to a different bar.
This could be, seeing a friend who is struggling hard with something, and offering to teach that friend a new skill.
This could be, seeing someone who is hurt, and fixing the issue. This is not generally done in a nurturing way. At least that I have personally witnessed. It’s usually making sure they are okay, getting them out of the situation. Basically, becoming a pillar, or rock, or structure to allow the fix or healing. This is something the Feminine energy desperately needs. But also, another masculine’s when they are not currently in a good zone.
Masculine’s who are in their energy and healthy, create structure very naturally and not in a domineering way. Just what they bring to the table energetically.
So anyway.
My hope is that this gives you a glimpse or an idea of what the true masculine energy, and if you want to go more in depth, be looking out for the podcast on this subject. It will probably get very yummy.
I may be on this topic for awhile to be honest because there are so many things I want to get into concerning this.
Like how to fix a relationship by bring the masculine and the feminine back into harmony.
Sex between the masculine and the feminine.
Healing the Masculine
Healing the Feminine.
Of course, every time I think I have enough blog posts and enough Podcast planned to get my point across, I think of a few more so… Yup
But hey, what do I know? I am just a woman trying to make it?
Hello all! I am currently working on a few posts to put up in here about the masculine and the Feminine energy and I am so excited about them it’s unreal. That is a subject I have been looking into quite a lot and trying to understand for a long time. I mean I got it on a surface level. It wasn’t exactly a challenging concept. Buuuuuuut, I could feel that there was more I wasn’t getting, and I finally hacked it. Can’t wait to finish those up and get them out there.
The problem is.
I have been working myself into the ground, and getting this part of my career really going has been a chore and half if I am honest. It is just one more thing for me to accomplish in a day and that can be rather exhausting at this point in time.
But I am passionate about all the little things I am doing, and I will figure it out. It’ll work. Does it make sense for it to work?
Absolutly not. .
Am I going to do it anyway.
You bet your fucking ass I am.
However, right now I am working on becoming an insurance adjuster. Not exactly the way I saw my life going at all. And I may not stick with it for any length of time. I honestly don’t know. But here in lies the beauty of following your yes.
Fuck I have not talked about that in a hot second.
But when the opportunity was given to me, I could feel a deep intuitive yes. I knew that I needed to do the thing. And even though I could feel it in my jelly’s, and I am so determined to follow that feeling in every part of my life, I still dragged my feet about it.
Then I had the interview.
And I was like well fuck that sounds horrible.
not even going to try to lie to you.
But I still felt that deep resounding yes.
So, I had the second interview. Which went remarkably well.
And it still sounded horrible.
I could still feel that resounding yes.
Can I just say. I have seriously missed school, way more than I ever thought I was going to miss school. I feel like a Pegasus that just flew through a goddamn rainbow. It’s ridiculous how much I love learning and fitting all the pieces of a particular subject together in my head. I fucking love it. And even though the subject matter I am currently studying SUCKS FUCKING ROCKS. I still am finding that deep insatiable thirst for knowledge to be present.
So that’s cool.
This is for real one of those moments that I just put my hands up and surrender to the process. Surrender the universe. And do my fucking best.
I have a few rules when it comes to pursuing something new. Because as much as I would love to be one of those people that just fly’s wherever the wind takes them and doesn’t think too much about the consequences, I am not one of those people. I have a life and a family to care for and uphold. I can’t just be switching it up all willy nilly any time the notion takes me. That would get very exhaustive for everyone around me very fucking fast. Because well, I super enjoy trying new things. It makes me the happiest in the world.
My rules are:
1)It can’t take away from my fixed priorities and responsibilities. I.E. Keeping my house, a home, taking care of my loved ones, and whatever current goals we currently have as a family.
2)It has to grow me
3)The preference would be that it would make more money than whatever I am replacing it with.
Well, this fit all of those rules. Infact it kind of knocked them all out of the water.
So, after my little evaluation, I decided to take the plunge and say fuck it. Why the fuck not
Am I already trying to figure the best way into management?
Yes indeed I am.
Do I already have a six-point plan on exactly how I am going to do this?
You bet your fucking ass I do.
Will I ever get to fulfill that plan?
Who knows. That is one of the many very very delicious parts of honoring the yes. I don’t really know what is next for this. I know what is next for my main career. But this thing I am doing… Insurance *puke*… may end up being one of those things that I just do for a time to learn a particular skill. Or meet a particular person, or, or, or. Or it may very well be something I end up sticking with for a long time, because well, the money is AMAZING.
Not that I will need the money. Especially with the long-awaited launch of my novel coming up.
But like…. who doesn’t want even more money?
Just saying.
I digress.
Life is a bitch
And one hell of an adventure.
And I kind of love that.
But what the fuck do I know? I am just a woman, trying to make it.
So, for those of you that have spent… well really any time talking to me over the last six months, everything in this particular post will be very familiar. The desire to evolve and the different facets of that train of thought have been something I have been mulling over and lets just be very honest…. obsessing over, for quite a while. Because for me, thinking this way made life sort of snap into focus. It allowed me to let go of hurt, and attachment to outcomes, and even jealousy.
Yeah, it sort of flipped the world inside my head upside down and I love that just a little bit.
I happen to really like being challenged.
But I digress.
I have worked very hard to allow myself to evolve, to change, and to embrace life fully. And in that, has come so much joy, so much pain, so much loss, and even more freedom. All of it in the best kind of way. For me, this path has cleared out all the extra, and left me with the things I actually want, and the things that make life so fucking beautiful.
The Desire to Evolve is an Innate Desire
Let’s talk about that word really quick. Innate. I see it get tossed around a lot and I sort of wonder if people really understand. In order for something to be innate, it must be something we automatically know, and our minds or body’s do without prompting when a certain stimulus is present. Such as breathing, sucking motions, crying when upset, laughing when tickled, seeking comfort, and learning. These are things that we come into the world knowing how to do. We often don’t think about things like empathy or self-control in this list but that is indeed innate to us as well, however, it is something that requires the development of certain parts of the brain that are not developed until later on. Also requires a subconscious which is not present in early childhood.
I got off topic there though to be honest.
I could take it out, but I thought it was fascinating information so… There it is.
Something you may have noticed in that little mess of information, is that the things that are innate to us, are needed for our survival.
So, when I say that the desire to evolve is innate, it stands to reason that it is required for our survival. And yet, we as a society seem to think the only way we can truly evolve after a certain point is within a career we picked when we were children.
We get married, and we have pretty babies, and we start life and then, that is it. Thats what we do. That is our life. And we allow ourselves to get stuck in one way of thinking and one way of doing things, with very little room to evolve.
We have a mental health crisis in this country and in many others. And while I will say this is not the reason for it, it certainly is not helping us get out of it either. Because there is an essential part of our survival that we all seem to think is not necessary after the surpassing of an arbitrary age. We tell people they need to ‘grow up’. Which I agree with whole heartily. Until I realized it really meant, becoming a boring old women.
*grumble grumble*
The Shackles of Society are Very Real.
Did you know the majority of the things we find to be ‘right’ within our society are stemmed from the Christian faith? And the majority of those things were formed from a group of extremists that fled the English rule because their ideals were to loose? Haha yeah, we didn’t learn that in hi school history, but… look it up. It’s actually quite interesting. Disgusting really, but interesting.
That does mean that our country was founded on principles laid out by a group of individuals that thought CATHOLIC law was just to fucking sinful. They laid out rules on the way men and women should conduct themselves in every single aspect of their life’s, and these ideals have been passed down over many generations in full fucking force.
Did you know that in most pre colonization cultures, things like polyamory, harams, and varies forms of polygamy were practiced very successfully? They created strong, unbreakable families that felt right and worked for them without this astringent desire for monogamy? Monogamy happened 100%. But it wasn’t the only thing.
Did you know that before the outreach efforts of the bible following cult, things like weed and shrooms were a normal thing to find in any and all households? They were even used in varies rituals and get togethers. Alcohol was consumed on the regular in nearly every home, and these things were only really frowned upon if they became a hazard to your family.
Did you know that sex had always been viewed as a powerful exchange of energy? Not something that was encouraged to only happen with one person. And the origins of what we would now call whores, were actually powerful women that were desired by many because of their ability to bolster confidence and satiate a level of energy within another being?
And then religion got involved.
And everything got really mother fucking boring.
Just saying.
True Freedom,
True freedom is attained through your ability to be open minded. To allow yourself to evolve and change and think differently. When I talk about this a lot of people say this would be used as a good excuse to leave a lifelong partner or abandon your children. Because you have evolved passed it, right?
Haha well….
No.
But also yes.
Do not abandon your children though. I am not saying that even a fucking little.
If you do, you will forever be viewed by me as a piece of shit human.
I’m not sorry.
And if you are in a long term commitment with another being, that shit means something. Your word means something. But a good lifelong partner should encourage the continued evolvement of you as a human. I find the statement “You’ve changed” Or “Your not who I married” to be really confusing.
Like no… They are not the same person they were five years ago darling. That is what is supposed to happen!
But when that happens together… not in the same way… but together, there should be excitement of those things. Not just with your romantic partners but your friends to. This idea that everyone just needs to figure out who they are and stay that way forever, is insane!
What if you attend a pottery class, because it’s fun, and you wanted to learn a new skill, and turns out you fucking love it, and decide to do a little switcharoony in careers? Or attend a birth and realize you want to be a doula because it was a fulfilling and beautiful thing? Or you went to the bar and had seen the most amazing cocktail being made and decided that drinks are your new hobby?
What happens if you encounter a very difficult person, and you learn to be a lot calmer and patient in a hard situation? Or your partner goes through a really hard mental break, and you need to learn how to take care of someone and learn diligence and true unconditional love? Or you have a child, and it pulls on certain parts of your heart that changes you fundamentally.
What if you decide to go on an adventure and find out you fucking love deep sea diving, or sharks, or waterfalls, or cliff diving, or hunting, or guns, or photography, or a game, or whatever the fuck else?
Evolving is meant to be fun and full and free. Life is meant to be fun and full and free.
It doesn’t mean you bail on your husband or your wife on whim. It doesn’t mean you cannot still be a productive adult that gets shit done and takes care of your family in whatever capacity you are needed. Thats not it
Evolving requires that you say yes to life.
Say yes to the random hook up.
Say yes to the bonfires, and game night and the second drink.
Say yes to the trip, or the hike, or the vineyard.
Say yes to the weed, and the shrooms and the alcohol.
Say yes to the random ass thing the weird friend in the group said we should try.
Laugh.
Cry.
Experience.
Love.
Hate.
Enjoy.
Hustle.
Take a chance.
Live.
This desire to evolve and grow is innate to you. It’s completely possible this is something you will have to relearn now. Something can only be suppressed for so long before it jumps ship. But it is essential to your survival. Let’s be honest, what fights off depression and anxiety better then true joy and life?
Look, if you are perfectly happy following the beaten path and letting life happen to you, then you do that. Truly. No judgment. But I would like to challenge that a little. Challenge you to think about the things that you believe, and the way you conduct yourself and ask yourself, are you living the best life you can right now? Are you the fullest and most satiated version of you? If not, don’t you want that?
just a thought.
But what do I know? I am just a women, trying to fucking make it.
I put down my book to write this. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big fat no for me. If I am reading, I am reading. The idea of being interpreted from the delicious reprieve into my own mind, is not exactly one I relish and tends to make me more than a little snappy. Sometimes bitey. And a lot of attitude to mix in there. Yeah… It’s not pretty. But I digress.
Today though, today I had to put it down, and I had to process what I had just read. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and then some. I knew I had to take some time with it, and process it because ultimately, I know myself and I know that as quickly as it hits me, it will leave me if I don’t honor it. So here we are. This will probably not be eloquent, and perfectly lay out the way it’s supposed to and I am just going to put my thoughts down as they come. So, be ready.
Or don’t.
Genuinely don’t care to be honest.
I am reading Sacred Sex by Gabriela Herstik. Amazing book, highly recommend.
I mean I have never seen a book about sex encourage me to watch porn, so it officially has my vote. Just saying.
She began talking about no’s and honoring your nos. That is well and good, and I love that. So here for it. What struck me was the line where she said “The word no isn’t often celebrated. Many people take it as a personal attack. But the truth is that engaging with a no is a radical act of aligning with your truth.”
Hold the mother fucking phone.
That adds.
That gives more.
Not takes away.
The no…. adds to the situation?
Can someone please make the math, math… please.
I don’t actually know where the idea that no subtracts to the situation rather than adds to it began. I am not talking about just sexually either though it is a contributing factor. But in life in general. I understand the value of no in your business and the value of no in your sexual relationships those are easy. But life? Maybe it was because my parents said no far more often than they said yes? Maybe because I devalued myself to the point of nauseum for so long that I didn’t even know myself. So no made me an empty hollow creature? Maybe because the word no has always made me feel like a shackle being left on my arm, just waiting for someone to pull it and take away my desires. I don’t know. Maybe a little mix of all the things and somehow, we ended up here.
But the me in the here and now, really does not enjoy a no. I mean I have mad respect for the word. I would never push a boundary set by someone, really anyone, but the least of which someone I love. I would never take away their choices and what does and does not feel good for them. But it always stings a little. Raises the head of a beast in me that makes me what to scream. I wrangle that bitch down and stomp on her fucking head every single time. No exceptions. But fuck if she isn’t real. She revels in freedom and no boundaries, and the ability to fly untethered. And it flares up so desperately because often times, I can see there resounding no, as a weight they carry that can be lifted, not something that truly benefits them.
But this idea that no is a good thing. The right thing. A thing that can allow me to come in closer connection with what is right and good for my life right now? Not even going to try to lie to you, I rejected it entirely.
The more logical part of mind sees, that is truth. The logical and practical part of my mind is often lacking. I prefer to take a dreamier approach to life, that if you want something bad enough, it’ll all just work out in the end. And since that usually works for me, I am going to run with it. It probably works because the people around me are far more practical and scramble to make it all work as I bulldoze my way through making shit happen. But still. I can see that truth plain as day.
No is good. Boundaries set by the people in your life add to the dynamic, add to the fun and joy and pleasure. Gives more. It takes nothing away. Simply aligns things closer to truth. Closer to what is actually good, and right, and pleasurable. Hasn’t that been true in my own life? When the people around me create boundaries that feel right, and I adjust, and then things are… much better. And its worked in reverse where I set a boundary and the people in my life adjust, and thing end up being… much better.
I could always see that. Its why I am so willing to battle myself over that shit every single time. It aligns life so fully and so completely. But there is a part of me that always wonders what it would be like if no wasn’t an option. And my family just attacked life so fully and so forcefully that nothing stands in the way. Were we didn’t hold each other back and just let ourselves have everything.
Its why I ended up in the type of relationship I am currently in. And I am still so fucking thankful for that freedom. I feel more myself to be allowed freedom in the way I interact with the people around me.
So while I see the truth in it. And I want to work so hard to see the no’s that are presented to me as radical opportunity of alignment. I also always want to be cautious of my no’s. I want to look at them closely and make sure they are in true alignment. Because I kind of think… life was for the yes. Life is for the dream. Life is for action and pushing and moving and growing.
I don’t want to say no just because it is uncomfortable, and I wish more people were like that. Because I think that if no brings alignment, Then the people attacking life with you, have to be self-aware enough to know if it’s no because it’s scary or a no because it really is a no. Because a real one, yes, I can see that as being so life giving and even freeing! Looking at no as a shift, makes it all come into a line for me. I can see that. But if the no is based in fear, or worry, or self-sabotage? How does that really help anyone or anything?
Obviously, this in varying degrees based on the situation. But I kind of wish we lived in a world where yes was valued so much more than it is. Pushing boundaries and allowing self-growth in the way of experiences. When our children want to do something, we say yes as often as possible. Then when it’s a no, they understand the value and the weight of it more steadily. When opportunity comes our way, it’s a resounding yes. So, when your intuition tells you it’s a no, your more ready to honor yourself in that way.
I think what I am getting at. Is No, and yes, both need to be honored and respected as much as we can. Because the more value we place on one, the less value the other holds. And both are so fucking important. More important than I gave it credit for.
I feel like there isn’t much to say about this because there is so much out there that goes into detail. Blogs and videos and classes. You name it, it’s out there. Taking care of your inner child is not something that is hard at this point. Well Taking care of your inner child can be hard at times, but finding the information about it really isn’t. There are whole ass books about it if you would like. The information is there you just gotta go find it.
That is not what this is about really. This is just me telling you how it helped me really. And maybe help you find some freedom to.
First thoughts
What I do want to talk about is why. The thing is, we seem to forget that until your between the ages of six and seven, there is no barrier between the conscious and subconscious. There is no base to compare whatever you’re facing. There is no preconceived notion to help you navigate whatever it is that you are facing. Whatever is in front of you, that’s your whole world. If a child is scared, all there is in the world is fear. If they are happy, all there is in the world is happy. Etc etc. And slowly overtime, the subconscious mind is solidified and thus setting the foundation for your whole life.
The whole fucking thing. No joke.
This is why Empathy is something that is developed later on in life, and why kids lack any and all impulse control. They are not trying to make you frustrated, there brain just straight up does not do it. There brain is developing still. Which is why I think being respectful to your babies is important.
And parents don’t always realize that. They are human, and make human choices. You don’t have to have gone through a major event to have trauma or limiting beliefs from that time. It’s all about the story we tell ourselves in that time about whatever is happening. It can be as simple as mom didn’t listen to my story. Or dad lost his cool one night.
Which by the way seems to make parents really nervous about their parenting. But I will get into that another time. It’s not as hard as you think. promise.
Anyway, taking care of that part of you, also helps heal the subconscious mind, releasing traumas and limiting beliefs and ideals that keep you from the life you want. Going back to that space and healing and taking care of yourself is vital to the whole story. Being playful and silly and alive is not a bad thing. It’s just something most of us are ashamed of because of the way we grew up. See that really fun little cycle? Yeah, it’s a relenting bitch, that only stops when you take the time to be playful and tell yourself the whole story.
What I did
The thing about taking care of your inner child, is that sometimes at first it feels foolish. But honestly, just doing things little you wanted to do that you didn’t get to do usually does the trick. There is other things you can do to truly heal those parts of you, there is more to the equation then what I am going to talk about here. It’s all-important! But I just want to talk about how to bring that part of you out.
For me, this was FUCKING HARD.
I had been suppressing that playful and childlike part of me for so long that I didn’t even know where to start and every single time I tried… I could never get into it. Like ever. As a young adult, I was not playful, and children things were for children. I was hard and rough and honestly, angry. But that was the exact reason that I needed to take care of my inner child. Those things are not things I wanted to be. They came naturally to me, and I was comfortable being that way. I was turned off by simple pleasures and childish things because little me was always expected to be a certain way. My subconscious was FULL of limiting beliefs and getting myself to a point where I could heal that part of me was brutal. I cried. A lot.
It felt foreign and wrong and just straight up stupid. Like gave me the desire to throw up kind of wrong.
I may have had some… issues. Okay? It is what it is.
But fuck when I let go… The feeling was euphoric. And I have never been the same. I tell people all the time there is nothing quite like letting go. The rush and the high and the freedom that comes with just saying fuck it, is nothing short of amazing. Not just with this but in life in general.
What I did do?
Look, I can’t tell you what your inner child needs. I really can’t. Only you know that. But I can tell you what I did and hopefully spark some yummy ideas.
Finger painting. Fuck was that weird and I STRUGGLED. Now I do it all the time and don’t even think about it. I had taken art classes and had been classically trained (at the very base level) so forgoing the paint brushes and spatulas and tools in favor of my fingers felt like I was breaking all the rules and could never create anything amazing. It felt limiting.
The thing is… it didn’t have to be fucking amazing. I had to get it through my thick ass skull that not everything I do has to be profound and amazing. Now I do it every time I need a good energy shift. No one likes a resting bitch personality and if I have had a long hard day… guess what I am?!
I also did things like playing dress up. Though my taste was significantly more adult than it would have been as a child, it was still so playful and yummy. Just putting myself together and making myself into things I will never be, was honestly so fun once I got into it.
Now I do it in scantly clothing that makes me feel like a goddess, take some pictures, and sell them… I may have missed the mark on that one as it evolved… but still do it.
Dancing around the house! Fuck that has become one of my favorite things. Tapping into that part of my childlike brain and being fully in the moment was one of the most transformative and releasing things I had ever done. I was always so carful about the way my body looked and the way I held myself. Now I don’t give a flying fuck. If you don’t like the way I look, stop looking my dude. One of us has the problem here and it sure as fuck is not me.
Playful songs
Playing in the mud
Laughing way too hard at stupid shit.
Watching Cartoons on a Saturday morning with a bowl of cereal. It doesn’t have the same effect that it did when I was a kid. Something about having to race to the bathroom, or race to get whatever I need while the commercials were being played really did add a little something. But hey its still nice.
Overall
For real, what did little you want? What did the child in you long for that you never got to do for one reason or another? There are a million things it could be. I didn’t even come close to scratching the surface. And I find things often that I do just for the sake of doing it. It can be hard at first, but don’t get discouraged. Life is hard. But you are worth it.
Podcast going more in depth about this will be coming soon.
The inner child is what we are all focused on usually. Truly, I get it. Those first six-seven years of life really did a number on a lot of us, and it is important to go back and let that part of you heal and learn and grow. Love it. Wanna go more in depth about it in another post and maybe even deeper in a podcast. But what I don’t hear people talking about is the ability to take care of the ethereal being that lives inside of you.
We all have it!
And its fucking vital.
What do I mean
I say that, and most people really just have no clue what I am talking about. That makes sense to me too. But for a moment, I want you to think about your soul. Think about the fact that this soul inside of you was at one point living in a very different realm. Had the option to not experience the hurt and the heart break and all the messy things that we deal with on a very regular basis. No hurt, no pain… a very simple and free existence with all the understanding.
So why choose to come here? At this time, in this plane of existence. Knowing that they would have to endure the traumas and the hurt and the pain of this life? I mean… to learn the lessons of course. But we usually stop there. Life is school. I do think it’s important to look at life that way. But that is not all there is.
All these emotions and experiences, they came for that too. We are here to experience. And if you are intentional, and willing to heal the hurt parts of you, most of those experiences can be so fucking good! That inner ethereal being is CRAVING pleasure and love and excitement. Craving the things in life, it came here to experience.
For some of us, like myself… That is love and travel and parties and meeting new people and having this big, exciting life. For others that is love, and softness, and simple pleasures. And pretty much everything in between.
But we get so hung up on the other part, the making money, and taking care of what needs taken care of, that we forget to enjoy the ride.
So what does that look like?
It looks different for everyone. But I always recommend starting small. Little rituals throughout the day to help you remember to slow down and find the things that bring you pleasure and joy.
For me… its.
Sex. Fuck do I love the sexual experience. Probably more than most, and certainly more the most women at this point in time. Though, I think as women start to unlock their pleasure that really wont be as much of a thing, but I digress. I love that, in a GOOD sexual experience, I feel alive, and my entire body catches fire in the most delicious kind of way. I love that my pussy throbs and my brain clears, and I can lose myself in the experience. It can almost be this portal to another planet entirely and I happen to love being on that planet.
Luxury. Look. I know I am an indulgent bitch sometimes. But do you know how often I turn off every light in my house, and shower by candlelight? It’s a lot. I am careful that every product I use on my body, I LOVE. And smells amazing and makes me feel good. I take my time to care for myself, and pay attention to each of me senses, and I absolutely oil myself up and massage as much of myself as possible. I take my time. I make sure my bed is comfortable, and I play music that makes me feel something. Turning every bit of self-care into an experience.
Road trips and travel. There is nothing, and do mean nothing, like a good road trip. The windows are down and good music playing. The joking and the laughter. Maybe a really good book playing. Seeing new things and taking lots of pictures. Taking stops in secluded areas to have some fun in the back seat. Finding good food and taking naps in the sun. Fuck do I love a good road trip. Nothing makes me come alive and be fully in the moment than going on a little adventure. No matter how short or long.
Final thoughts
No matter what it may look like for you, life is for the living. Life is for pleasure and fun and experiences. And no, not everything is going to be that way. But you have the power to make more of your life something delicious and yummy.
think at this point everyone and there fucking mom has heard about taking care of your inner child. Today I want to talk about taking care of your inner ethereal. It makes so much sense to me that the Taking care of your inner child
Podcast to go more in depth about this, coming soon.