I will never tell a masculine what to do.
And oh how people are going to be so so so mad at me about this. I know. I can feel it. The tensions rising already with just that one little statement.
But it’s true.
I mean you can try. But take a moment all my lovely fems out there reading this. The last time you had a fight with your masc, what was it about? I am going to take a really good educated guess here, and say there is a good chance that the masc had made a decision about something, you didn’t love it and told him to do something else, and…. one thing led to another. Or, you told them “Hey you are going to do this” And that was not very well received.
Im going to wager a bet that a lot of smaller arguments between the masc and the fem start this way. It’s unfortunate because, it can be so easily avoided by the feminine leaning into her power. So, I am going to chit chat about this just a little. And the crazy thing is, the argument ends up being about something completely different. Because, the energy is out of alignment and the brain needs something to fix, so it creates it.
Keep an open mind, okay?
You’re going to need it.
I get it, you my little love are absolutely just as much in charge of this relationship as the masculine. There is no lesser, or greater in the dynamic. The only reason we see it this way, is that as a society, we only like to praise the masculine traits as being good, and the feminine as being subservient. This is a massive oversight of this energy.
The Structure is VITALLY important, but so is the temperature. This is a vital piece of the equation. They are both needed consistently.
When a man, any man, tells me “This is what I am going to do” And I don’t like it, my first reaction is to tell them no, and demand they do it differently. The problem with that, is the masculine is the structure. This is where his energy and his power live. This is where he is the most satiated and happy and where they are the most vital. The masculine does not need more structure, they need temperature.
So when the feminine challenges that, it’s problematic in their heads. It’s not a conscious thought, It is an energetic action. Because it brings into question their ability to take care of the things they love. It raises a bright burning target in there head and can flip a switch really easy to allow for defensiveness. The feminine will never get more enraged then when they feel they are not being heard.
And the battle of wills ensues.
This does not mean that I will be keeping my opinion to myself. It is that, I will be approaching things very different. I have a voice, but meeting the masculine with an outright demand is going to put them at odds with what you are saying. Their defenses are going to immediately pop up.
“Can I ask why this is not a bit more emergent?”
Or
“Can I get some more clarity on why we are not doing it this way? I will hear you, I just want to understand”
Something like that.
If they are a healthy masc, they will listen. If they are not…. girl what the fuck are you doing? Bounce. You are of high value, if you’re not being listened to, the cover charge is not being met. End of story.
If they continue down the same path, be vulnerable! Not manipulative, just honest. “This is making me a bit uncomfortable because.”
“doing things this way is making it really hard for me because…..”
“My anxiety is through the roof on this because”
This causes healthy discussion! We LOVE a good healthy discussion.
And ultimately they are going to do there thing. Ultimately the structure is going to be the structure. My energy can then be spent loving him anyway, bringing a sense of calm and coming along side them. Be the peace, and the driving force. Because then, if it does not work out, WE ARE STILL A TEAM. There is no I told you so’s or hurt feelings or pain. This is the time to realize that your power as the feminine, is to bring the right energy so that your family or your friendship, or your whatever the relationship may be, has the ability to stay intact. The masc cannot do that. They are the structure not the temperature. There power lives in there ability to create structure. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc. The feminine power lives in the temperature, emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc.
And any man can be seduced… into anything. There is always a back up plan.
But really. This is not saying that you need to just roll over and let your masc do whatever they want. They are not your over-ruler, they are your person. They are not your boss, they are your structure. If you need to go to bat over something, and it requires you to tell them what to do, then girl do your thing. But remember where your power lives. You set the temperature. You have the ability to change the dynamic at the drop of a hat.
It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.
Now in order for this dynamic to work, you do indeed need to be a high value woman. There is so much information out there on this topic. However, it says there is only one way to be this way, and that is just not the truth. Being of high value means achieving the life you want. Putting in the work and effort to be the kind of woman that you want to be. https://amzn.to/4cGp6gU This book is such a yummy place to start with cultivating this energy
The reason I say this, is because the masculine responds well to people and specifically feminines that know their own mind and have a basis to talk about things. I don’t make the rules, I’m just talking about them.
That’s my two cents anyway.
