The action of evolving is Surrender. Surrender is open-mindedness. And life is for the living.
I said what I said.
I know that makes people nervous, and childhood trauma leads us to this intense desire to have complete control over as much in our lives as humanly possible. The thing is, I am not discrediting that kind of life in the slightest. If that is truly what your heart needs and wants and you are perfectly satiated in that life, then you fucking go for it. There is no judgment here. Truly.
The people that I am talking to today, are the dreamers, the growers, the ones that look at this life as a delicious opportunity to experience as much as they can in this lifetime.
Check out https://elizabetheternal.com/the-fundamentals-of-fear/
As for my evolution
Since I have embarked on my healing journey, one of the most prevalent things I have learned is that I am an ever-evolving human. I am learning to fully embrace the action of evolving. What I have and want now, is not necessarily what I will want and need in the future. That is completely okay. There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean I was wrong then, or I am losing my mind now. I evolved. That is a beautiful thing.
I would rather have had six different careers, and been stupidly, and incandescently happy the entire time than receive the accolade of forty years in one career. Have lived in twenty different cities and met thousands of people; giving my children and family an amazing adventure – than have bought just one house in a small town in a good school district, just because it was expected of me. There is something delicious about having experiences with as many people as feels right for me, rather then to have only been with one man because the church or society says that it would make me a purer woman.
The list goes on.
Fluidity
I crave fluidity and surrender more now than ever before in my life.. I happen to really love my life. If I ever wanted anything different, I do have rules for myself, guidelines that I must follow. Like, it would need to be moving me further in life, not backward. It would need to not bring harm to my family. Things like that.
But I would think about it. Spend time with it. Possibly even do it. Even if it was scary.
That does not mean that I want to be blown with the wind every time it moves. I don’t want to be flighty and dip on everyone the second my mind starts to wander. It’s not that.
It’s a willingness to be open to life. And whatever it may throw at me.
I’m cool with it. I have found freedom in it. And I have no intention of chaining myself to just one thing.
A lot of that is because I have surrendered, I do know what I want. And I am not afraid of my wants and desires. I embrace them fully.
Surrendering to the ever-evolving self.
Fuck I hate that word just a little bit. Surrender. Okay, a lot a bit.
Because in the church it was always used to say, “Your life is what it is and if you are content enough, God will make you feel better about it.” That was always the expectation for me.
FUCK THAT.
For real.
With a spikey fucking dildo.
I am not doing that. Not ever.
But, leaving that little idea of surrender aside, let’s dive into what that means in this context.
Often, when we haven’t told ourselves the whole story and gained polarity of the things that have plagued us, we do this thing. become extremely hardened towards things that are perceived as ‘unsafe’. Ultimately it means our brains are doing the fucking job all the way. We really do have animal-like brains, once something is categorized as unsafe, that is it. We naturally start to gravitate away from anything that even slightly triggers that injured part of the mind. Then we form a comfortable life around what feels a little more comfortable.
The healed and surrender
None of this is done consciously. It’s the subconscious part of the mind. It is the part of our mind that was developed when we were just little tiny humans and didn’t have the skills and ability to navigate hard things. Before we truly understood what these things meant. Usually before the age of seven, but as young as birth. Which by the way, is just really fucking annoying. But I digress.
This is where people get tripped up with healing. They find that they can be free from some of the consequences of that trauma, but when the uncomfortable feeling of stepping outside of the safe little box that was created, it is assumed that it is intuition saying no.
HAHA not exactly.
This is the next step in the action of evolving.
Surrender is getting comfortable being uncomfortable for a while. It is asking yourself what is underneath the uncomfortable feeling. When you surrender it is saying that you are willing to sit with the things of this life and be willing to step outside of what is comfortable. Ask yourself what is real to you outside of the trauma you have faced. And that is really scary. Surrender is the action of evolving. Moving forward, living life in freedom.
True Open-mindedness is the path to Evolve.
True open-mindedness is your ability to be able hold multiple realities in you at one time. The one you are living. The feeling that you are getting – that the thing is scary and doesn’t feel right. But also, the reality that it is a fun thing and could help you learn and grow. And deciding which one is true to you in a real way. Not in a way that lives in comfort and refuses to shake the boat.
What we seem to forget, I have already stated. We have animal-like brains. Though I think most of us would understand the analogy of computer-like brains a little better. This trauma creates a pathway in the brain, or installed software, that physically changes the brain to alleviate the threat and create coping skills just in case it happens again. You can heal all you fucking want, the pathway is there until you decide that you are going to change the pathway. I say that like it’s so easy, but in reality, this is very difficult.
It requires you to sit with things. Ponder them, try new things, open yourself up to perceived vulnerability, and live consistently with the understanding that you could absolutely get hurt again.
However, on the other side of all that healing and all that polarity and all that work, is freedom. It is a life well lived and a life you can be stupidly in love with. It is fluid and delicious and allows you the ability to continue to evolve. The action of evolving is surrender.
