Awe! The masculine. As a deep Fem, there is very little I find more alluring than the deep masculine. Because of the way these two energies are drawn to complete one another, I find myself turned on and ready to go so fast when I find someone who has truly tuned into their natural energy and embrace it fully.

It is a problem.

And now that I recognize the problem, I can fix it right?

HAHAHAHAHA no.

Not because I cant.

I just don’t really want to.

And maybe that makes me crazy, but it is what it is.

Also, these posts are going to be long. If you want to wait for the podcast, I really fucking get it. But here we go.

What am I talking about though?

The masculine energy has been portrayed within our current society in a very interesting way. It’s more a list of characteristics then it is the true energy behind it. I understood the masculine based on those principles for a long time now. And I am sure most people have that idea pretty well on lock.

The thing is you cannot qualify an energy to action. those things do not work together the way you think they do. They just don’t. Any energy does not belong to an action, a gender, or an idea. Energy is what is at the center of those things. And the way that energy is portrayed doesn’t really matter as much as the energy itself.

Let me explain in a different way.

I am someone who happens to not really hold back the truth. I don’t know why, but before I can even think better of it, I am telling you EXACTLY what I think. My filters are minimal at best on my best day. So if you’re a piece of shit. Chances are, I am just going to say that. But, if I put my hand on my hip, and cock an eyebrow, and you can just feel the judgment rolling off of me, me telling you “Hey, this is a really shitty thing you are doing right now” – is going to feel a lot different than if I make eye contact, and I approach you softly, and everything about my aura is telling you that I don’t mean any harm and then I tell you “Hey, this is a really shitty thing you’re doing” It’s going to be received so differently.

The action is what it is. It is not more or less true, but the energy behind it changes the way the interaction goes.

this is the same with the masculine energy. It has nothing to do with the action and EVERYTHING to do with the energy behind the action.

While the masculine is most often found in men. it can and is found in every gender. And honestly, I know a lot of men that hold very little if any true masculine energy. I also know a lot of women who operate in there masculine very heavily. It is what it is.

So, as I explain further the different sides to the masculine energy, I will use a lot of traditional ideals to get the point across, but please remember, that I am just putting it into words that can be understood.

So, what is the Masculine energy?

For the purposes of this, I am going to be talking about a traditional couple, and their family, because it is the easiest way to explain. The masculine energy acts as the structure of a home, whereas the feminine, is the temperature.

This affects everything about the way they will approach their family. The feminine will look at the needs of her family, as a personal attribute. Whereas the masculine will look at his family as a personal success or failure. Both are looking at the same needs, and seeing the same priorities but their approach to it is different.

The reason that it is most often men are the ‘bread winner’ (Hate that term so much but… it is what it is) is because when they look at their family, they see that in order to flourish, they need substance. They see the structure as a whole and recognize what is needed to keep his family safe and cared for. There was a time in history in which this meant they would go out and hunt as much as they could to make sure their family had food, but in today’s society, that need is met with a monetary value. So that is where their focus is going to be.

One of my favorite things about the masculine, is what I call singular mindset. It’s called a million different things, but that is my little phrase for it. The masculine energy is the structure, right? Which causes them to have this innate ability to hyper focus. It’s almost as if a part of their brain shuts off so that they can zoom in on one particular thing.

They have work mode. And when they are at work, the only thing that really exists in that moment is work. Yes, there doing it for the family and blah blah blah. But really, in that space, there priority is going to be work. Everything else will be secondary. I know a lot of women that fucking hate this about there masc. But heres the deal, we should LOVE this about them. Because there minds do not work the way the feminine brain works. His focus being somewhere else does not inherently mean that you are not the biggest priority. It just means this is what he is doing right now. And in order for him to take care of his family the way he needs to, he can’t have split focus. Split focus is something the feminine can do very easily. Which also makes focusing on a job harder (But I will get into that in a different post altogether). So let him be in that masculine energy. Recognize it for what it is, and I can almost guarantee that it will start to light a little fire in your belly. Just throwing it out there.

It’s my favorite because in a true masculine, that ideal is true for everything in their life. Not just work. When the masc is with his girl, she is the only fucking thing in the world. That is where all his attention is. And let me tell you there is nothing more delicious then being the center of someone’s world. Even for a few moments. Just saying. When they are with their kids, that is the only thing in the world. When they are doing a project, that is all there is. And if they find themselves not being able to focus on it, it probably means their energy needs to be somewhere else and they know it.

This is also why alone time tends to be really important to the masculine, and time with their friends, and time just hanging out. Because they give so much of themselves to each thing they are doing, what is innate and important to them gets put on the back burner. Their energy is the structure in which a family lives. And they feel that weight keenly in a very natural and innate way. It’s not a bad thing! However, it does require them to let loose often and have things outside their family and responsibility. Thats just reality. As a feminine in that dynamic, you should want that for them, just as the masc should want it for the fem.

This ‘singular mode’ is also why the masc tends to protect the fem very readily. Because the feminine energy, will immediately go to the ‘fuck’ place in an emergency situation. They are going to be getting their kids away from the threat, and making sure other people are out of the way etc. etc. but because the masculine energy is the structure, there first thought tends to be ‘how do I eliminate this threat’.

There Energy really is astounding.

The masculine energy does not ‘reside over’ the feminine. Both energies are of equal importance. But the masculine, being the structure, does mean that he tends to ‘oversee’ the household very naturally. Its not something they have to think about, or work through, or even a skill they have to learn.

Yes, they will have to learn the skills to actually implement those ideals, but the desire to oversee, is not something they will need to work too hard on. This will make a lot more sense when I post the blog about the feminine energy, and the podcast will be about the way these two energys work together, and I go a lot more in depth of these concepts, because fuck is it a lot of information to try and get through. So eventually it will all snap into place.

I hope.

Like… if I do my job well anyway.

Back on topic.

Lets put this in a way that will make a little more sense.

If we are talking about a traditional household, where a man is working, and a woman is staying home and taking care of her family. If a true masculine comes home from work, and his children are running amuck, and the house isn’t clean, there first thought is going to be ‘is my fem okay’.

Toxic masculinity will start laying into her, and getting frustrated. But a true masculine that is working in harmony with his feminine, will immediately go to ‘where is the problem, and how do I help fix it’. Very few actually give a shit if there are toys laying around and some dishes in the sink. But this home is the place his fem should be flourishing, so if it’s not done, there is a missing link somewhere in the structure and their innate desire is going to be to care for the fem.

This is going to look different for everyone. And the way they approach the situation is going to be different, because again, this is not an action, this is an energy they hold. So, they may go find their girl, and ask what she needs, love on her, fuck her, you know, the basics. They may immediately just hang out with the kids to give her a break, or start cleaning, or they may order a pizza, get the kids and himself cleaning, and declare that night a sit on the couch and watch movies kind of night. Who knows. But the energy he will be bring is to make sure the structure of his family is being cared for. Period.

Am I making sense?

fuck I hope so

Outside of a family dynamic.

This idea of the masculine being the structure means that he still is that, outside of his home. The way he interacts with his fem friends, is going to be different then the way he interacts with his buddies. There is a level of care and protection that is innate to the masculine energy that cannot be left behind just because he is not with his family,

He will do this with his mother

He will do this at work.

He will do this in every situation,

Because he holds that energy,

His natural desire is to create structure.

The thing is, we like to think of that as this ridged, intense thing. But it’s really not. The energy there, could be… going out to a bar with his friends, realizing the vibe isn’t quite right, so he pays the DJ to play certain songs, buys everyone around a shots, and gets everyone’s vibe to a more desirable level. Or if that is not financially possible, gets everyone to a different bar.

This could be, seeing a friend who is struggling hard with something, and offering to teach that friend a new skill.

This could be, seeing someone who is hurt, and fixing the issue. This is not generally done in a nurturing way. At least that I have personally witnessed. It’s usually making sure they are okay, getting them out of the situation. Basically, becoming a pillar, or rock, or structure to allow the fix or healing. This is something the Feminine energy desperately needs. But also, another masculine’s when they are not currently in a good zone.

Masculine’s who are in their energy and healthy, create structure very naturally and not in a domineering way. Just what they bring to the table energetically.

So anyway.

My hope is that this gives you a glimpse or an idea of what the true masculine energy, and if you want to go more in depth, be looking out for the podcast on this subject. It will probably get very yummy.

I may be on this topic for awhile to be honest because there are so many things I want to get into concerning this.

Like how to fix a relationship by bring the masculine and the feminine back into harmony.

Sex between the masculine and the feminine.

Healing the Masculine

Healing the Feminine.

Of course, every time I think I have enough blog posts and enough Podcast planned to get my point across, I think of a few more so… Yup

But hey, what do I know? I am just a woman trying to make it?

Hello all! I am currently working on a few posts to put up in here about the masculine and the Feminine energy and I am so excited about them it’s unreal. That is a subject I have been looking into quite a lot and trying to understand for a long time. I mean I got it on a surface level. It wasn’t exactly a challenging concept. Buuuuuuut, I could feel that there was more I wasn’t getting, and I finally hacked it. Can’t wait to finish those up and get them out there.

The problem is.

I have been working myself into the ground, and getting this part of my career really going has been a chore and half if I am honest. It is just one more thing for me to accomplish in a day and that can be rather exhausting at this point in time.

But I am passionate about all the little things I am doing, and I will figure it out. It’ll work. Does it make sense for it to work?

Absolutly not. .

Am I going to do it anyway.

You bet your fucking ass I am.

However, right now I am working on becoming an insurance adjuster. Not exactly the way I saw my life going at all. And I may not stick with it for any length of time. I honestly don’t know. But here in lies the beauty of following your yes.

Fuck I have not talked about that in a hot second.

But when the opportunity was given to me, I could feel a deep intuitive yes. I knew that I needed to do the thing. And even though I could feel it in my jelly’s, and I am so determined to follow that feeling in every part of my life, I still dragged my feet about it.

Then I had the interview.

And I was like well fuck that sounds horrible.

not even going to try to lie to you.

But I still felt that deep resounding yes.

So, I had the second interview. Which went remarkably well.

And it still sounded horrible.

I could still feel that resounding yes.

Can I just say. I have seriously missed school, way more than I ever thought I was going to miss school. I feel like a Pegasus that just flew through a goddamn rainbow. It’s ridiculous how much I love learning and fitting all the pieces of a particular subject together in my head. I fucking love it. And even though the subject matter I am currently studying SUCKS FUCKING ROCKS. I still am finding that deep insatiable thirst for knowledge to be present.

So that’s cool.

This is for real one of those moments that I just put my hands up and surrender to the process. Surrender the universe. And do my fucking best.

I have a few rules when it comes to pursuing something new. Because as much as I would love to be one of those people that just fly’s wherever the wind takes them and doesn’t think too much about the consequences, I am not one of those people. I have a life and a family to care for and uphold. I can’t just be switching it up all willy nilly any time the notion takes me. That would get very exhaustive for everyone around me very fucking fast. Because well, I super enjoy trying new things. It makes me the happiest in the world.

My rules are:

1)It can’t take away from my fixed priorities and responsibilities. I.E. Keeping my house, a home, taking care of my loved ones, and whatever current goals we currently have as a family.

2)It has to grow me

3)The preference would be that it would make more money than whatever I am replacing it with.

Well, this fit all of those rules. Infact it kind of knocked them all out of the water.

So, after my little evaluation, I decided to take the plunge and say fuck it. Why the fuck not

Am I already trying to figure the best way into management?

Yes indeed I am.

Do I already have a six-point plan on exactly how I am going to do this?

You bet your fucking ass I do.

Will I ever get to fulfill that plan?

Who knows. That is one of the many very very delicious parts of honoring the yes. I don’t really know what is next for this. I know what is next for my main career. But this thing I am doing… Insurance *puke*… may end up being one of those things that I just do for a time to learn a particular skill. Or meet a particular person, or, or, or. Or it may very well be something I end up sticking with for a long time, because well, the money is AMAZING.

Not that I will need the money. Especially with the long-awaited launch of my novel coming up.

But like…. who doesn’t want even more money?

Just saying.

I digress.

Life is a bitch

And one hell of an adventure.

And I kind of love that.

But what the fuck do I know? I am just a woman, trying to make it.

So, for those of you that have spent… well really any time talking to me over the last six months, everything in this particular post will be very familiar. The desire to evolve and the different facets of that train of thought have been something I have been mulling over and lets just be very honest…. obsessing over, for quite a while. Because for me, thinking this way made life sort of snap into focus. It allowed me to let go of hurt, and attachment to outcomes, and even jealousy.

Yeah, it sort of flipped the world inside my head upside down and I love that just a little bit.

I happen to really like being challenged.

But I digress.

I have worked very hard to allow myself to evolve, to change, and to embrace life fully. And in that, has come so much joy, so much pain, so much loss, and even more freedom. All of it in the best kind of way. For me, this path has cleared out all the extra, and left me with the things I actually want, and the things that make life so fucking beautiful.

The Desire to Evolve is an Innate Desire

Let’s talk about that word really quick. Innate. I see it get tossed around a lot and I sort of wonder if people really understand. In order for something to be innate, it must be something we automatically know, and our minds or body’s do without prompting when a certain stimulus is present. Such as breathing, sucking motions, crying when upset, laughing when tickled, seeking comfort, and learning. These are things that we come into the world knowing how to do. We often don’t think about things like empathy or self-control in this list but that is indeed innate to us as well, however, it is something that requires the development of certain parts of the brain that are not developed until later on. Also requires a subconscious which is not present in early childhood.

I got off topic there though to be honest.

I could take it out, but I thought it was fascinating information so… There it is.

Something you may have noticed in that little mess of information, is that the things that are innate to us, are needed for our survival.

So, when I say that the desire to evolve is innate, it stands to reason that it is required for our survival. And yet, we as a society seem to think the only way we can truly evolve after a certain point is within a career we picked when we were children.

We get married, and we have pretty babies, and we start life and then, that is it. Thats what we do. That is our life. And we allow ourselves to get stuck in one way of thinking and one way of doing things, with very little room to evolve.

We have a mental health crisis in this country and in many others. And while I will say this is not the reason for it, it certainly is not helping us get out of it either. Because there is an essential part of our survival that we all seem to think is not necessary after the surpassing of an arbitrary age. We tell people they need to ‘grow up’. Which I agree with whole heartily. Until I realized it really meant, becoming a boring old women.

*grumble grumble*

The Shackles of Society are Very Real.

Did you know the majority of the things we find to be ‘right’ within our society are stemmed from the Christian faith? And the majority of those things were formed from a group of extremists that fled the English rule because their ideals were to loose? Haha yeah, we didn’t learn that in hi school history, but… look it up. It’s actually quite interesting. Disgusting really, but interesting.

That does mean that our country was founded on principles laid out by a group of individuals that thought CATHOLIC law was just to fucking sinful. They laid out rules on the way men and women should conduct themselves in every single aspect of their life’s, and these ideals have been passed down over many generations in full fucking force.

Did you know that in most pre colonization cultures, things like polyamory, harams, and varies forms of polygamy were practiced very successfully? They created strong, unbreakable families that felt right and worked for them without this astringent desire for monogamy? Monogamy happened 100%. But it wasn’t the only thing.

Did you know that before the outreach efforts of the bible following cult, things like weed and shrooms were a normal thing to find in any and all households? They were even used in varies rituals and get togethers. Alcohol was consumed on the regular in nearly every home, and these things were only really frowned upon if they became a hazard to your family.

Did you know that sex had always been viewed as a powerful exchange of energy? Not something that was encouraged to only happen with one person. And the origins of what we would now call whores, were actually powerful women that were desired by many because of their ability to bolster confidence and satiate a level of energy within another being?

And then religion got involved.

And everything got really mother fucking boring.

Just saying.

True Freedom,

True freedom is attained through your ability to be open minded. To allow yourself to evolve and change and think differently. When I talk about this a lot of people say this would be used as a good excuse to leave a lifelong partner or abandon your children. Because you have evolved passed it, right?

Haha well….

No.

But also yes.

Do not abandon your children though. I am not saying that even a fucking little.

If you do, you will forever be viewed by me as a piece of shit human.

I’m not sorry.

And if you are in a long term commitment with another being, that shit means something. Your word means something. But a good lifelong partner should encourage the continued evolvement of you as a human. I find the statement “You’ve changed” Or “Your not who I married” to be really confusing.

Like no… They are not the same person they were five years ago darling. That is what is supposed to happen!

But when that happens together… not in the same way… but together, there should be excitement of those things. Not just with your romantic partners but your friends to. This idea that everyone just needs to figure out who they are and stay that way forever, is insane!

What if you attend a pottery class, because it’s fun, and you wanted to learn a new skill, and turns out you fucking love it, and decide to do a little switcharoony in careers? Or attend a birth and realize you want to be a doula because it was a fulfilling and beautiful thing? Or you went to the bar and had seen the most amazing cocktail being made and decided that drinks are your new hobby?

What happens if you encounter a very difficult person, and you learn to be a lot calmer and patient in a hard situation? Or your partner goes through a really hard mental break, and you need to learn how to take care of someone and learn diligence and true unconditional love? Or you have a child, and it pulls on certain parts of your heart that changes you fundamentally.

What if you decide to go on an adventure and find out you fucking love deep sea diving, or sharks, or waterfalls, or cliff diving, or hunting, or guns, or photography, or a game, or whatever the fuck else?

Evolving is meant to be fun and full and free. Life is meant to be fun and full and free.

It doesn’t mean you bail on your husband or your wife on whim. It doesn’t mean you cannot still be a productive adult that gets shit done and takes care of your family in whatever capacity you are needed. Thats not it

Evolving requires that you say yes to life.

Say yes to the random hook up.

Say yes to the bonfires, and game night and the second drink.

Say yes to the trip, or the hike, or the vineyard.

Say yes to the weed, and the shrooms and the alcohol.

Say yes to the random ass thing the weird friend in the group said we should try.

Laugh.

Cry.

Experience.

Love.

Hate.

Enjoy.

Hustle.

Take a chance.

Live.

This desire to evolve and grow is innate to you. It’s completely possible this is something you will have to relearn now. Something can only be suppressed for so long before it jumps ship. But it is essential to your survival. Let’s be honest, what fights off depression and anxiety better then true joy and life?

Look, if you are perfectly happy following the beaten path and letting life happen to you, then you do that. Truly. No judgment. But I would like to challenge that a little. Challenge you to think about the things that you believe, and the way you conduct yourself and ask yourself, are you living the best life you can right now? Are you the fullest and most satiated version of you? If not, don’t you want that?

just a thought.

But what do I know? I am just a women, trying to fucking make it.

I put down my book to write this. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big fat no for me. If I am reading, I am reading. The idea of being interpreted from the delicious reprieve into my own mind, is not exactly one I relish and tends to make me more than a little snappy. Sometimes bitey. And a lot of attitude to mix in there. Yeah… It’s not pretty. But I digress. 

               Today though, today I had to put it down, and I had to process what I had just read. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and then some. I knew I had to take some time with it, and process it because ultimately, I know myself and I know that as quickly as it hits me, it will leave me if I don’t honor it. So here we are. This will probably not be eloquent, and perfectly lay out the way it’s supposed to and I am just going to put my thoughts down as they come. So, be ready. 

               Or don’t.

               Genuinely don’t care to be honest.

               I am reading Sacred Sex by Gabriela Herstik. Amazing book, highly recommend.

I mean I have never seen a book about sex encourage me to watch porn, so it officially has my vote. Just saying.

               She began talking about no’s and honoring your nos. That is well and good, and I love that. So here for it. What struck me was the line where she said “The word no isn’t often celebrated. Many people take it as a personal attack. But the truth is that engaging with a no is a radical act of aligning with your truth.”

               Hold the mother fucking phone.

               That adds.

               That gives more.

               Not takes away.

               The no…. adds to the situation?

               Can someone please make the math, math… please.

               I don’t actually know where the idea that no subtracts to the situation rather than adds to it began. I am not talking about just sexually either though it is a contributing factor. But in life in general. I understand the value of no in your business and the value of no in your sexual relationships those are easy. But life? Maybe it was because my parents said no far more often than they said yes? Maybe because I devalued myself to the point of nauseum for so long that I didn’t even know myself. So no made me an empty hollow creature? Maybe because the word no has always made me feel like a shackle being left on my arm, just waiting for someone to pull it and take away my desires. I don’t know. Maybe a little mix of all the things and somehow, we ended up here.

               But the me in the here and now, really does not enjoy a no. I mean I have mad respect for the word. I would never push a boundary set by someone, really anyone, but the least of which someone I love. I would never take away their choices and what does and does not feel good for them. But it always stings a little. Raises the head of a beast in me that makes me what to scream. I wrangle that bitch down and stomp on her fucking head every single time. No exceptions. But fuck if she isn’t real. She revels in freedom and no boundaries, and the ability to fly untethered. And it flares up so desperately because often times, I can see there resounding no, as a weight they carry that can be lifted, not something that truly benefits them.

               But this idea that no is a good thing. The right thing. A thing that can allow me to come in closer connection with what is right and good for my life right now? Not even going to try to lie to you, I rejected it entirely.

               The more logical part of mind sees, that is truth. The logical and practical part of my mind is often lacking. I prefer to take a dreamier approach to life, that if you want something bad enough, it’ll all just work out in the end. And since that usually works for me, I am going to run with it. It probably works because the people around me are far more practical and scramble to make it all work as I bulldoze my way through making shit happen. But still. I can see that truth plain as day.

               No is good. Boundaries set by the people in your life add to the dynamic, add to the fun and joy and pleasure. Gives more. It takes nothing away. Simply aligns things closer to truth. Closer to what is actually good, and right, and pleasurable. Hasn’t that been true in my own life? When the people around me create boundaries that feel right, and I adjust, and then things are… much better. And its worked in reverse where I set a boundary and the people in my life adjust, and thing end up being… much better.

               I could always see that. Its why I am so willing to battle myself over that shit every single time. It aligns life so fully and so completely. But there is a part of me that always wonders what it would be like if no wasn’t an option. And my family just attacked life so fully and so forcefully that nothing stands in the way. Were we didn’t hold each other back and just let ourselves have everything.

               Its why I ended up in the type of relationship I am currently in. And I am still so fucking thankful for that freedom. I feel more myself to be allowed freedom in the way I interact with the people around me.

               So while I see the truth in it. And I want to work so hard to see the no’s that are presented to me as radical opportunity of alignment. I also always want to be cautious of my no’s. I want to look at them closely and make sure they are in true alignment. Because I kind of think… life was for the yes. Life is for the dream. Life is for action and pushing and moving and growing.

               I don’t want to say no just because it is uncomfortable, and I wish more people were like that. Because I think that if no brings alignment, Then the people attacking life with you, have to be self-aware enough to know if it’s no because it’s scary or a no because it really is a no. Because a real one, yes, I can see that as being so life giving and even freeing! Looking at no as a shift, makes it all come into a line for me. I can see that. But if the no is based in fear, or worry, or self-sabotage? How does that really help anyone or anything?

               Obviously, this in varying degrees based on the situation. But I kind of wish we lived in a world where yes was valued so much more than it is. Pushing boundaries and allowing self-growth in the way of experiences. When our children want to do something, we say yes as often as possible. Then when it’s a no, they understand the value and the weight of it more steadily. When opportunity comes our way, it’s a resounding yes. So, when your intuition tells you it’s a no, your more ready to honor yourself in that way.  

               I think what I am getting at. Is No, and yes, both need to be honored and respected as much as we can. Because the more value we place on one, the less value the other holds. And both are so fucking important. More important than I gave it credit for.

I feel like there isn’t much to say about this because there is so much out there that goes into detail. Blogs and videos and classes. You name it, it’s out there. Taking care of your inner child is not something that is hard at this point. Well Taking care of your inner child can be hard at times, but finding the information about it really isn’t. There are whole ass books about it if you would like. The information is there you just gotta go find it.

That is not what this is about really. This is just me telling you how it helped me really. And maybe help you find some freedom to.

First thoughts

What I do want to talk about is why. The thing is, we seem to forget that until your between the ages of six and seven, there is no barrier between the conscious and subconscious. There is no base to compare whatever you’re facing. There is no preconceived notion to help you navigate whatever it is that you are facing. Whatever is in front of you, that’s your whole world. If a child is scared, all there is in the world is fear. If they are happy, all there is in the world is happy. Etc etc.  And slowly overtime, the subconscious mind is solidified and thus setting the foundation for your whole life.

The whole fucking thing. No joke.

This is why Empathy is something that is developed later on in life, and why kids lack any and all impulse control. They are not trying to make you frustrated, there brain just straight up does not do it. There brain is developing still. Which is why I think being respectful to your babies is important.

And parents don’t always realize that. They are human, and make human choices. You don’t have to have gone through a major event to have trauma or limiting beliefs from that time. It’s all about the story we tell ourselves in that time about whatever is happening. It can be as simple as mom didn’t listen to my story. Or dad lost his cool one night. 

Which by the way seems to make parents really nervous about their parenting. But I will get into that another time. It’s not as hard as you think. promise. 

Anyway, taking care of that part of you, also helps heal the subconscious mind, releasing traumas and limiting beliefs and ideals that keep you from the life you want. Going back to that space and healing and taking care of yourself is vital to the whole story. Being playful and silly and alive is not a bad thing. It’s just something most of us are ashamed of because of the way we grew up. See that really fun little cycle? Yeah, it’s a relenting bitch, that only stops when you take the time to be playful and tell yourself the whole story. 

What I did

The thing about taking care of your inner child, is that sometimes at first it feels foolish. But honestly, just doing things little you wanted to do that you didn’t get to do usually does the trick. There is other things you can do to truly heal those parts of you, there is more to the equation then what I am going to talk about here. It’s all-important! But I just want to talk about how to bring that part of you out.

For me, this was FUCKING HARD. 

I had been suppressing that playful and childlike part of me for so long that I didn’t even know where to start and every single time I tried… I could never get into it. Like ever. As a young adult, I was not playful, and children things were for children. I was hard and rough and honestly, angry. But that was the exact reason that I needed to take care of my inner child. Those things are not things I wanted to be. They came naturally to me, and I was comfortable being that way. I was turned off by simple pleasures and childish things because little me was always expected to be a certain way. My subconscious was FULL of limiting beliefs and getting myself to a point where I could heal that part of me was brutal. I cried. A lot. 

It felt foreign and wrong and just straight up stupid. Like gave me the desire to throw up kind of wrong. 

I may have had some… issues. Okay? It is what it is. 

But fuck when I let go… The feeling was euphoric. And I have never been the same. I tell people all the time there is nothing quite like letting go. The rush and the high and the freedom that comes with just saying fuck it, is nothing short of amazing. Not just with this but in life in general.

What I did do?

Look, I can’t tell you what your inner child needs. I really can’t. Only you know that. But I can tell you what I did and hopefully spark some yummy ideas.  

Finger painting. Fuck was that weird and I STRUGGLED. Now I do it all the time and don’t even think about it. I had taken art classes and had been classically trained (at the very base level) so forgoing the paint brushes and spatulas and tools in favor of my fingers felt like I was breaking all the rules and could never create anything amazing. It felt limiting.

The thing is… it didn’t have to be fucking amazing. I had to get it through my thick ass skull that not everything I do has to be profound and amazing. Now I do it every time I need a good energy shift. No one likes a resting bitch personality and if I have had a long hard day… guess what I am?!   

I also did things like playing dress up. Though my taste was significantly more adult than it would have been as a child, it was still so playful and yummy. Just putting myself together and making myself into things I will never be, was honestly so fun once I got into it.

Now I do it in scantly clothing that makes me feel like a goddess, take some pictures, and sell them… I may have missed the mark on that one as it evolved… but still do it. 

Dancing around the house! Fuck that has become one of my favorite things. Tapping into that part of my childlike brain and being fully in the moment was one of the most transformative and releasing things I had ever done. I was always so carful about the way my body looked and the way I held myself. Now I don’t give a flying fuck. If you don’t like the way I look, stop looking my dude. One of us has the problem here and it sure as fuck is not me. 

Playful songs

Playing in the mud

Laughing way too hard at stupid shit.

Watching Cartoons on a Saturday morning with a bowl of cereal. It doesn’t have the same effect that it did when I was a kid. Something about having to race to the bathroom, or race to get whatever I need while the commercials were being played really did add a little something. But hey its still nice.

Overall

For real, what did little you want? What did the child in you long for that you never got to do for one reason or another? There are a million things it could be. I didn’t even come close to scratching the surface. And I find things often that I do just for the sake of doing it. It can be hard at first, but don’t get discouraged. Life is hard. But you are worth it.

Podcast going more in depth about this will be coming soon.

The inner child is what we are all focused on usually. Truly, I get it. Those first six-seven years of life really did a number on a lot of us, and it is important to go back and let that part of you heal and learn and grow. Love it. Wanna go more in depth about it in another post and maybe even deeper in a podcast. But what I don’t hear people talking about is the ability to take care of the ethereal being that lives inside of you.

We all have it!

And its fucking vital.

What do I mean

I say that, and most people really just have no clue what I am talking about. That makes sense to me too. But for a moment, I want you to think about your soul. Think about the fact that this soul inside of you was at one point living in a very different realm. Had the option to not experience the hurt and the heart break and all the messy things that we deal with on a very regular basis. No hurt, no pain… a very simple and free existence with all the understanding.

So why choose to come here? At this time, in this plane of existence. Knowing that they would have to endure the traumas and the hurt and the pain of this life? I mean… to learn the lessons of course. But we usually stop there. Life is school. I do think it’s important to look at life that way. But that is not all there is.

All these emotions and experiences, they came for that too. We are here to experience. And if you are intentional, and willing to heal the hurt parts of you, most of those experiences can be so fucking good! That inner ethereal being is CRAVING pleasure and love and excitement. Craving the things in life, it came here to experience.

For some of us, like myself… That is love and travel and parties and meeting new people and having this big, exciting life. For others that is love, and softness, and simple pleasures. And pretty much everything in between.

But we get so hung up on the other part, the making money, and taking care of what needs taken care of, that we forget to enjoy the ride.

So what does that look like?

It looks different for everyone. But I always recommend starting small. Little rituals throughout the day to help you remember to slow down and find the things that bring you pleasure and joy.

For me… its.

Sex. Fuck do I love the sexual experience. Probably more than most, and certainly more the most women at this point in time. Though, I think as women start to unlock their pleasure that really wont be as much of a thing, but I digress. I love that, in a GOOD sexual experience, I feel alive, and my entire body catches fire in the most delicious kind of way. I love that my pussy throbs and my brain clears, and I can lose myself in the experience. It can almost be this portal to another planet entirely and I happen to love being on that planet.

Luxury. Look. I know I am an indulgent bitch sometimes. But do you know how often I turn off every light in my house, and shower by candlelight? It’s a lot. I am careful that every product I use on my body, I LOVE. And smells amazing and makes me feel good. I take my time to care for myself, and pay attention to each of me senses, and I absolutely oil myself up and massage as much of myself as possible. I take my time. I make sure my bed is comfortable, and I play music that makes me feel something. Turning every bit of self-care into an experience.

Road trips and travel. There is nothing, and do mean nothing, like a good road trip. The windows are down and good music playing. The joking and the laughter. Maybe a really good book playing. Seeing new things and taking lots of pictures. Taking stops in secluded areas to have some fun in the back seat. Finding good food and taking naps in the sun. Fuck do I love a good road trip. Nothing makes me come alive and be fully in the moment than going on a little adventure. No matter how short or long.

Final thoughts

No matter what it may look like for you, life is for the living. Life is for pleasure and fun and experiences. And no, not everything is going to be that way. But you have the power to make more of your life something delicious and yummy.

think at this point everyone and there fucking mom has heard about taking care of your inner child. Today I want to talk about taking care of your inner ethereal. It makes so much sense to me that the Taking care of your inner child

Podcast to go more in depth about this, coming soon.