It’s Monday, baby! Are you kidding me? I love Mondays.

I am so here for a fresh start.

Fuck there even days that I am like “You know what, we are starting over” Then I go take another shower, and start the day all over again. Not gonna lie, sometimes a reset is needed!

Don’t get it twisted, this is the vibe. Messy hair and all baby! Lets be super fucking honest.

But, that’s not the entire narrative. Did I enjoy my weekend? Fuck yes. I got to cook and clean and hang out with my family/friends. I vegged out one night on the couch with a snack and watched way too much fucking TV and it was AMAZING! Not to mention the nice long bath, and manifesting I did. I feel so good after my weekend, and I am entirely so ready if that was my everyday life.

Getting back on the grind is, like…. not the best. Okay, it really isn’t. Long days with my nose to the grind, doing everything, having to stay focused. Sometimes it’s a bitch dude. Not gonna lie. But…

A change in perspective

Something that I have learned through Pagan religions, and witchcraft, as well as Hindu, and Orthodox Jews, is that every single piece of the puzzle is important, and life is made up of cycles.

There is something that our energy and our minds do when we are really intentional about these cycles. When we move into the flow of life rather than resisting it. It’s just -simply put- easier. Life is easier when you lean into what your life is rather than being a grumpy asshole about it.

Life doesn’t get harder on Monday, we are restarting the cycle. We are in spring! We are in a zone where everything comes alive again, and this energy is yummy. Is it hard to refocus? Yes of course it is. Is it challenging to work when you haven’t had to in two days, and you are feeling so relaxed and refreshed? Of course, it is! But it’s spring, let it be a little simpler. This is the cycle of my life, and we are leaning into it.

Something I think a lot of people like to forget is that manifesting is not saying a few affirmations and doing some energy work. I mean, it’s not only that. That is actually a really important part. But true manifesting is looking into your future, and getting really honest. What does that version of me have that this version of me does not? And then become that person. The only thing standing between you and the dream is time, and in this time, we are preparing.

This looks like developing the habits and mindset, that person has to have. What kind of rituals or routines do they have? It’s time to implement them. And I GARTENTEE that version of you is not moping and griping about having to get back on the grind when the time comes.

How though?

Dude me too.

If it sucks, it sucks, and you will not catch me over here pretending. I am feeling what I am feeling. PERIOD.

So that meant for me, I actually had to find a way to change the energy around Monday.

Lets talk about it.

Monday is a BEAUTIFUL time to get up a little earlier than you would the rest of the week. Don’t whine at me! This is just my perspective. Do with it what you will. But it is. Your entitled to your wrong opinion.

I say this because it gives you more time to fully ground into your day. I use this extra time to do some tarot. Maybe do a little energy work and get that picture fresh in my mind about the future and where I will end up. Drink my coffee slowly. Watch a podcast or something to help get me thinking and excited about my day while I fix my hair and put on my makeup. I’m going to be honest with you: I get up a solid ninety minutes earlier on Mondays.

I am not going to say that’s always easy, but I do it, and I am intentional with that time. I get cozy, I go slow, I warm into the flow, and let myself have whatever I need to get through the week in the right energy.

This is going to look so different for everyone. Maybe you need one last hit before turning off your brain, and you spend that time scrolling TikTok. I don’t know your life. But whatever you do, and whatever the goal is right now, whatever you’re looking forward to, do it with love and care and find a way to make Monday, exactly what it needs to be.

I woke up ninety minutes early and still was barely ready for work on time. But I did it, and I am in the right energy. It was worth every single second.

It’s 2025 baby!

Y’all, here we are, and I could not be more thankful for 2024. It was hard and transitional, and so much changed; it’s insane, but here we are. No matter where you are starting from, this year can be an amazing one.

The thing is, I am starting this year in a dark place. I am always going to be really straight up with you, and right now, my life is a little crazy, and I am getting it from all sides. When I tell you that my showers have become like an hour long, I mean it! Nothing quite like the hot water to wash away all the nonsense.

That’s reality though, isn’t it? Nothing seems easy when you are on the cusp of something amazing. It’s usually pretty shit if I am honest. Right now is no different for me at all, I am in the thick of it. And so many others are to. If you are, I am standing here with you baby, let’s get through this. If you’re not, I am overjoyed by your fortune, and pray it continues.

No matter where you are starting, or what is going on in your life, this year, in 2025, we are achieving. This is the year for us to get the things we have been striving for and wanting and working so hard for. This is the year that the tables turn. I can feel it in my jellys.

What to expect

This part of the blog is very much about setting up the tone of how I want to move forward, and the kind of things that you can expect from me this year. I don’t love making blogs like this. It feels like it holds very little value for you as the reader. But here’s the deal, I want to bring you into the know a little bit. And hold myself accountable for the things I say I am going to do. ADHD at its finest – If I don’t make a big deal of it, then I am going to forget. It’s not even that I give up on those things, my mind just gets lost in all the other stuff, and slowly but surely, those things become less and less important, and I forget. It’s ridiculous. But I always say, the more you know yourself, the more you know yourself. And this is no exception.

I am making a few commitments to myself this year.

1. No casual relationships. This one is a bitch for me. There is nothing wrong with relationships that are simple in nature, and that you just simply exist in without the pressure of going long-term, or building a life together. These relationships have been some of the most beautiful, and rich, and genuinely helpful and life-giving to me. But this year is all about focus and I am building the life I want. This means, finding my forever people. And I can’t do that if all my time is spent with casual.
2. One business, or personal development book, for every fun book. Look, I am a reader. I closed out 2024 having read 57 books. Only four of them were for business or personal development. Could you imagine if I had read 25 books, genuinely applied the material, and let it grow me? Fuck, dude. I want that level of growth in 2025. Please and thank you.
3. Letting myself be intuitively led. Listen. I am a creative being, and my intuition is generally fucking on point. I’ve learned to trust it emphatically unless it directly applies to me. Why? Because I am a rebellious bitch sometimes, and the idea of acting or not acting on something that makes so much sense to me, just because I get a little turn in my stomach, or I have a thought is actually fucking wild. But as I said, my intuition is very rarely wrong, and while I have allowed myself the freedom of listening in a lot of areas, I want to open myself up a little more.
4. Grow my fucking blog! I have been so satisfied with the little audience that I have built. It’s not huge, but it’s full of people that I have come to just simply adore. Yall are the fucking shit. Keep those private messages coming baby, I want them (Although you guys, why is the comment section so fucking bare? Work with me here) But, I want to grow, and I want this to be more of a priority for me. Writing is my happy place, and if I can have a stream of income doing this, then I would like that to become my reality. So our little fam here is going to be growing. Yes, and thank you!
5. Then I have a few for the buisness I am currently in the process of purchasing. And some micro habits I am working on.

How to figure out what your goals are.

I really wish that five years ago someone would have made this clear to me, and taught me how to create goals. I find it so frustrating that everyone is so quick to say that you need to make them, and stick to them, but what does that actually look like? I had to figure it out on my own. I am sure there are a million ways to this, and the way that I do it is not right for everyone but, I can still share, and maybe itll resonate with some of you.

1. Meditate.

Take some time, and get quiet, clear your mind. Now I don’t mean to sit like Buddha and hum. That’s not the kind of meditation I am talking about. This is a powerful tool for certain things. But with this, well, there is no way that I would be focused on what I want in the future. This would go spiritual fast. No. Instead, find something that you can do to clear your mind, and let it wonder about the future, and what you would like your life to look like.

Get detailed about this. What does that version of you do in the morning? What do they do throughout the day, what do those habits look like? What job, or lack thereof, do they have? What are the simple pleasures they enjoy? What kind of clothes do you wear? All of it.

If you can’t answer this… STOP. Your goal is to learn yourself. I don’t make the rules, that is just how it is. I’ll put that process in another blog. But seriously, your manifestations, your goals, the relationships you want, all of it, are not going to work, because you’re aligning with something that isn’t for you. Because you don’t even know you!

2. Write that shit down

Write it down, print pictures, do whatever you have to do to lock in the energy, know it, and make friends with it. That is the key. Because this is the why. This energy, this love, and abundance, and joy, the dream, that is the why. If you can attach genuine emotion to it, you are more likely to be able to manifest that reality.

3) Compare.

The ouch generally comes in here, and it gets really overwhelming. Whether it is just a few things you need to change or a whole heaping lot. It’s important to know. Because this list becomes the blueprint to reach the goal. Find so much love for yourself in these moments. Especially if its a lot. This is not a list of failures. It is just the truth, with no moral attachments. It is hard to rewire our brains at this moment. It really is, and i totally get it. But even if you have to stop every couple of minutes, and do the energy work, say the affirmations – I don’t even care what you do, to change it; but deal with the emotion, and turn it over to the new thought process. Something we are leaving in 2024? Being an asshole to yourself. Cool? Cool.

Something important to understand is that no matter what the goal is, whether it’s business, relationships, body composition, or travel – all of it, starts with you. The thought processes, habits, and energies that you allow. You can’t know what it going to bring in the goal, the dream, the manifestation, without first knowing what you allowing into your energetic field. The list is important.

4. Recap

At this point you not only have your goals, that you can pull from the meditative time. Whatever that life was you just pictured, figure out key points, and get those set in stone. That’s the goal. but you have a list of every single habit you need to start taking on. Every thought process needs to change. And these can be your baby steps.

It really is that simple.

You read that right. There is joy in rock bottom

I said what I meant, and I meant what I said.

The thing is, nothing is inherently bad or inherently good. Everything is neutral until given context. I mean EVERYTHING. Drugs? Neutral. Sex? Neutral. Love? Neutral. And rock bottom is truly neutral.

The reason we have so much sadness there, and it feels so impactful is because all of our trauma, defining misbeliefs, and insecurities are being poked and prodded by absolutely everything in our lives. Even if that is simply loneliness.

Life is school. Everything in life is a reflection of yourself. The energy that you hold, is the energy you will attract. So when things are happening, it is a direct reflection of what is inside. And that can be a really fucking scary place to meet yourself at.

So, why is this joyful.

I say all of that like it’s the easiest thing in the entire world. Like being faced with everything broken and unhealed in you is easy as pie. It’s not. I know that. I have faced enough of my demons, chased down my own patterns, and been in enough extraordinarily dark places, to know that there is nothing fun about that.

Fun and joy are two different things. Maybe it is because I am a writer, and I love a really good story. But at the end of the day, there is nothing like a really good redemption arch. There is nothing as beautiful and raw and delicious as someone who is in a space that is uncomfortable and left with the choice to face it or drown.

We all struggle to face the truth when our life looks pretty good. When there is a relationship, and a job, and we are surviving. The truth is, we choose these things and cling to them with a death grip, because deep down, we believe that survival is all there really is. But when even that goes, when everything is stripped away, and its just you standing there, you can see clearly where you went wrong.

All the things you didn’t want become so clear. What is even better, is when you can look at it long enough to realize WHY you chose it. And then take the time to heal that part of you, to choose something different. That is joyful, that is beautiful, that is true and undeniable love.

Love

Loving yourself enough to find joy and pleasure in every area of your life is a hard thing to accomplish. I am not going to lie to you. It feels damn hard because when you find yourself at rock bottom, its easy to dip into self loathing. When you start to see all of the things you have done to get you to this point, and take ownership of your life, its far to fucking easy to dip into self blaming.

The thing is, you sucked sometimes, yes. I sucked sometimes. Sometimes… I still do. That is again a beautiful part of being human. It’s all a part of the experience. If you can find love for the part of you that does shitty things, you also find the love for healing it.

That is the crazy thing about life. All the jobs and the careers, the relationships, the break ups, the swings that feel like your stomach may fall out of your body, all of it… it all comes down to love.

Self love, the love for others. And rock bottom is the place you find true unconditional love for yourself. There is joy in that. All you have to do is find it.

But what the fuck do I know? I am just a woman trying to make it.

This has been a really crazy week. Ive been unlocked in a lot of ways. Or at least that’s what it feels like. I won’t lie, I really love that. But I am finding something true to myself that I never really realized before, and I just want to talk about it for a minute.

The way that I find manifestation to be easiest, is using sex magic. But why? Why is this such an amazing tool for myself?

Without thinking about it much, I just assumed that this was because I was a sensual creature by nature. I love sex. I love the energetic nature of sex, and the way I feel when I am settling into divine sensuality. I love exploring and testing limits, and being pushed to the absolute max as often as I can. This is something that is real and joyous to me.

So, it stands to reason that when I take that energy, and apply a specific resolve that I am wanting to bring into my life, that it would be a powerful way of doing it. And it really is. It is a powerful way of manifesting to me.

But I realized this week, that it works because I am constantly reminded of the things I am manifesting. I go into these rituals by building. Building energetic flow in my body. Building a five senses profile for what I am manifesting and embodying that in my body. I build crazy heights of sensual energy and attach these things to it, and through my own release, also releasing something powerful into the universe.

It’s a heady and beautiful experience, that I love.

But because sensuality is something that I operate on a regular basis, I am consistently reminded of those five senses I built. And I automatically want to take it on. Leaving me in a fairly consistent state of living that life, the life that I am manifesting, in the here and now.

That is why it is powerful. That is why it is consistent. That is why I love it so damn much. It is combining a spiritual practice, with a physical practice, which gives me the energy and desire for the work associated with the thing I am manifesting. It puts me into a flow state, connecting me with source, and providing a consistent state of being that I can delight in.

Hahahaha I love this.